Counting Stars
by Luciferine
Summary: A series of mostly unconnected oneshots set in SOTM 'verse. An introspection of life at the dam, and how Joel and Ellie do (or don't) fit into it. Ratings are T and up unless otherwise specified. Pre- Joel/Ellie, Maria/Tommy
1. i

"Joel, it's not a big deal. At all. I seriously have no idea why this is bothering you so much." Ellie throws herself down on her cot, grateful not for the first time that she's gotten one of her own since Tommy decided to let them stay. She really wouldn't be helping her case too much if she dramatically threw herself onto Joel's cot. The stubborn ass in question simply rolls his eyes, before dramatically throwing himself on his cot. Well, not quite as dramatic as she had, but she digresses. It's hard to be more dramatic than Ellie.

"Of course it's a big deal. Birthdays are a big deal. They're a huge deal." He disagrees, crossing his arms in a way Ellie recognizes as his 'you are so totally wrong and I am going to annoy the hell out of you until you admit it' pose. Fantastic.

"They're not when you grew up in the middle of the fucking zombie apocalypse." She mutters. Joel's face softens slightly and he sighs.

"You tellin' me you never had a birthday? A real one? With people singing and… Well, I guess cake would be hard to come by but-"

"No." She cuts him off. "No party. No singing. No cake. After my mom died… Well. It's not like Marlene had the time for any of that stuff, even when she showed up." Even though they're past it, past what happened in Salt Lake City, (even though they're really not, you can never be past something like that but they're giving it their damndest) Ellie still can't stop the grimace that crosses her face when she says Marlene's name. Joel notices, of course he does, fucking observant bastard, but he doesn't say anything. "Besides," She continues, "it's not like they're that big of a deal. I mean, it's a day like any other. You don't magically get a year older on that day. It happens all year. So, really, there's no point." Joel is looking at her funny, and she shifts uncomfortably. "What?" She half-growls in his direction.

"Are you sure it doesn't bother you? Fifteen's a big number. Isn't there anything… I dunno. Anything you want?" She snorts in disbelief. If someone had told her, back when she first met Joel, that the man would be wringing his hands over a missed birthday, she would have laughed in their face. Or shot them, because that kinda crazy generally only comes when you've been infected. But for some reason, it seems to really be bothering him.

"Joel, it was months ago. I'm serious. Don't even worry about it. I've been fifteen for a good chunk of the time we were trying to get to the Fireflies. If it matters to you that much, just wait until I turn sixteen and do something then." Hopefully he'd forget about it by then. Birthdays have never sat well with her. They always remind her of Before. Of a time when you can actually plan for things like that and not worry about getting your throat ripped out before. There hadn't been celebrations in the Zone, but friends might try to sneak friends extra food or give them some stupid trinket found on the ground. Her and Riley generally had the same outlook on birthdays, so they never gave each other anything. Not that Riley was alive to see very many.

It occurs to Ellie that she's older than Riley was when she died. And isn't that something. Out of the two of them, Ellie never thought she'd be the one to make it out alive. She becomes aware of Joel calling her name, and she shakes her head, clearing it. "Huh?" She asks.

"I said, when's your birthday?" She looks at him blankly. "You know, the actual date?" She turns an interesting shade of red. "I mean, if I'm gonna do something, I have to know when… You have no idea, do you?" He asks. She resolutely stares at the opposite wall. He sighs again. "Aw, Ellie…"

"Right before the leaves fall." She blurts out. "That's what Marlene told me, anyways. The day before winter hits full force, when there's snow already on the ground but the leaves are still bright. She said I was born on a day like that. So, that's how I count them. My birthdays." Joel is silent for a moment. Ellie studies her fingernails.

"C'mere." Joel says, extending a hand. She smiles slightly, taking the hand and letting him pull her down beside him. He plays with stray strands of her hair, a habit he's picked up when he's gearing up to say something capital-I Important. "Anyone ever teach you the date of the outbreak?" He asks her, voice uncharacteristically quiet. Ellie nods.

"Fourth or fifth of September, depending on who you ask." She replies. That's one of the few facts she knows for sure about Before. When it ended. She knows a whole lot about endings. She wishes she could collect a few more beginnings. He nods, and he's smiling, but it's not a good smile. It's bitter, like the ones he used to wear in their own personal Before. Before Salt Lake City. Before the hospital. Before they realize separation would kill them, literally. "Joel?" She asks softly, bumping him in the shoulder to bring him back to the present. She doesn't like when he gets lost in his own head. It scares her. She worries she's never going to get him back. But, like every time before, he snaps out of it.

"My birthday was on the fourth. It had barely changed over to the fifth when it hit where I was. Where we were." And he's thinking about Sarah, she can feel it. Ellie gets the queasy feeling in her gut that she always does now, when she knows he's thinking about her. She's not jealous. It's not nearly as simple as that. But she holds resentment, which she knows is stupid and she wouldn't tell Joel even if she had a gun pressed to her head. Ellie resents the dead girl; perfect, innocent Sarah, because she haunts her dad.

Because even though she's long gone, Joel still wakes up choking on a scream some nights. And Ellie is not her replacement. She knows that. Ellie is Ellie and she holds an entirely different part of Joel's heart in her own, uniquely Ellie way. And in a bitter, angry part of her mind she takes solace in the fact that he'd survived Sarah dying, but he'd proved on a number of occasions he couldn't, wouldn't make it without Ellie. She's not jealous of a dead girl she never knew. She's not Joel's kid. Doesn't want to be his kid. They're JoelandEllie. Equals. But she's forever angry that Joel has to live with Sarah's death on his shoulders. And maybe, she's equal parts angry and grateful to Sarah for not making it. Angry because Joel will always live with that but grateful because she remembers what Joel said, about loving people getting you killed in this world. And she knows, like she knows so many other things about Joel, that he wouldn't have lasted very long, without Sarah's death to harden him.

"Ellie?" Joel's voice is still soft, as if he's worried about startling her. She looks at him, really looks at him, and for a second she thinks she can see everyone he ever was. The kid who wanted to be a singer, the loving father, the ruthless man who's works spawn most of Joel's nightmares, the gruff and tired man she'd met, and the man he was now, new and different and slightly uncomfortable in his new skin. She throws her arms around his neck and buries her head in the crook of his neck. He makes a surprised noise, but wraps his arms around her regardless.

"I'm really sorry." She whispers against his neck, knowing he'll understand. Sorry for what he's lost. For what he's seen and what he still has to see.

"Me, too." He says, only she knows he means it for her sake and not his own. They stay like that for a long while. Joel's ridiculously warm, and she finds herself slipping off into sleep.

"Hey, Joel?" She mutters, the sound muffled by his skin. He chuckles and shifts, trying to make her more comfortable.

"Yeah?" She can hear the smile in his voice, and grins.

"I know what I want for my very, very belated birthday present." She informs him.

"Oh? So you've changed your mind, then?" He teases gently. Bastard, she thinks fondly.

"Mhmmm." She mumbles out. He laughs outright, now.

"OK, shoot. What is it you want?" He sounds genuinely curious, beneath the amusement.

"Want you to sing for me…" She mumbles, and then her breathing evens out, leaving a very confused Joel to mull over her request.

Sometime later, Ellie wakes up, muddled and alone.

"Joel?" She mumbles, sure he's somewhere and she can't see him. No answer. "Joel?" Louder, now. Still no answer. She gets up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She stumbles outside, noticing it's gotten dark. It's a beautiful, cloudless night. Not a cloud in sight. She'd be admiring the stars if her heart wasn't about to jump out of her throat. "Joel, where the hell did you go?" And for once, horrible moment, she thinks the worst. He's dead. He left her. He left her and then got attacked and died. Or he's Infected. She's nearly hyperventilating, about to run to Tommy and Maria's and enlist their help, when she hears… Something.

She's only heard guitar sounds vaguely and briefly, but she can recognize the noise. And it's coming from… the roof? She spins around, facing the roof of their cabin.

"Well, look who decided to rejoin the land o' the living." Joel drawls, picking at the strings of a battered old guitar. Ellie blinks, not entirely sure she's actually awake. Not just because Joel is sprawled on the roof with a fucking guitar, but because he looks… happy. He's grinning like an idiot, holding the instrument like it's his baby, and his grin just gets wider every time it makes a sound.

"Wha?" Ellie manages, not even able to complete the word. Joel laughs, that and the guitar the only sounds in the otherwise silent night. Yep, definitely still dreaming. She pinches herself. Ow. OK, not dreaming.

"D'you like it?" Joel asks, still with the grin. Ellie does a double-take and makes some noise that sounds vaguely affirmative. Joel mock-pouts, and what fucking universe has she fallen into where Joel is mock-pouting he's a grown man that should be weird what is this. But somehow it's not, it's amazing and hilarious and Ellie is laughing, nearly shrieking with it, grabbing his arm when he extends it and letting herself be pulled up.

She throws her arms around Joel, still laughing and making entirely ecstatic noises and he's laughing too and it's amazing.

"Well, you wanted me to sing, and I couldn't very well do that without accompaniment, now could I?" And she's so happy she wants to scream and dance and fucking Joel this is so like him and yet so entirely unlike him and she could fucking kiss him right now and she thinks she might cry. "I'll take that as a yes?" He asks, his voice flippant but his expression entirely hopeful.

"Yes! A whole army of yeses! Joel… How? Where?" She makes a frustrated noise as her mouth fails to catch up to her brain. He pulls her closer, laughing again, and she's warm and so happy that happy isn't even the right word for it.

"I told Tommy, about your birthday and everything. And he agreed with me that there was no way in hell we were waiting until your next birthday-"

"It's already nearly summer, Joel. It wouldn't be that long." She reminds him. He snorts and flicks her on the nose.

"You want me to tell you the story or not?" She holds up her hands in mock surrender. "Thought so. Anyways, Tommy found this old hunk of junk somewhere and fixed it up best he could. Was saving it for my birthday, he says." Joel rolls his eyes.

"That's sweet." Ellie says. Joel huffs.

"What'd I tell you about interrupting?" And he pokes her in the side, that bastard, he knows she's ticklish. "Long story short, I got an early birthday present for your belated one. So." His face is so smug she has to laugh. He makes a face. "What?"

"You're really proud of yourself, aren't you?" She asks.

"Damn straight." He says, and his eyes are actually sparkling what even she is seriously expecting a white rabbit to run by any second with a pocket watch. And yes, she has in fact read Alice in Wonderland, fuck you very much.

"OK, music man. What're you gonna play me?" She teases, leaning her head against his shoulder. He huffs in frustration.

"That's the thing. I remember a whole lot more than I thought I did, which actually makes things a lot fucking harder than you'd think. I dunno what to play." And his face is kinda scrunched, as if the songs are purposely mocking him with their abundance. She thinks about that for a minute, shifting her head so her chin is resting on his shoulder.

"Play me everything." She tells him. He gives her a strange look.

"That might take a while." He tells her. She shrugs.

"Good. You can play me some every night for as long as you have something to play." And if that's not the fucking best idea she's ever had, she will eat her joke book. She's wearing this fucking stupid grin, she can see it reflected in his eyes, but he's smiling too so she guesses that's OK. His eyes look shiny for a second, but then he blinks and it's gone, and she figures she imagined it. "Sound good?" She asks. He inclines his head.

"Yeah. It… It sounds really good." And it occurs to Ellie that they're actually making plans, actual plans that span a significant period of time and that is major, that is having faith they'll survive long enough. They kinda stare at each other for a moment that should be kinda awkward but really isn't and then Joel clears his throat and looks down at the guitar. He exhales, and Ellie thinks she can detect a shake in his breathing. "OK." He says, more to himself than her. She's about to tease him about being nervous, but stops at the last second. She sits very quietly and waits.

She hears him count under his breath, and then suddenly there's music and he's singing, Joel is actually fucking singing.

"Feelin' my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart…" Ellie can't even breathe. It's beautiful. She's never heard anything like it in her entire life. "I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start…" She looks at Joel, looks at his face, and sees that, aside from the determined concentration, his face is… relaxed. There's no worry or fear or anxiousness. He looks really fucking happy and Ellie has to look up to avoid tears from falling. The stars look so big, and so bright, and she's filled with an emotion she can't even name. It swells in her chest and chokes her and she's never been so happy it hurts. It's just on the right side on unbearable.

"So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older, all this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost…" He's good. Really, really good. He could've been a singer. She's never heard anything even close to Joel's voice and she's hit with the sudden regret that he'll never get to do that. To be that. That he'll never have an audience screaming his name and cheering after every song. She's all he's got. She decides to be the best fucking one-woman audience in the world. "I tried carryin' the weight of the world, but I only had two hands… Hope I'll get the chance to travel the world, but I don't have any plans…" He looks up for a minute, at her, and she starts grinning again but it's so much more than that, and she's sure he can see it in her eyes, and he must because he ducks his head, a huge smile on his face. "Life's a game made for everyone and love is the prize…"

He bursts into the chorus again, and she's sure everyone in the town must be able to hear him because damn, the man's got some lungs on him, and they're probably keeping people awake but fuck it he's amazing.

"I didn't know I was lost…" The final chords fade away into the night, leaving them in silence. Ellie doesn't notice she's crying until she starts clapping and making ridiculously happy noises and tears start flying everywhere. Joel ducks his head again and mumbles something that she assumes is a thank you. She throws herself at him, hugging him so hard she thinks her arms might fall off.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, I loved it." She's nearly sobbing into his shirt and he's hugging her back, so hard she thinks he might break something but she doesn't fucking care she's laughing and crying all at once and it's heaven. When she dies, if there's a heaven, all she wants it to be is this moment over and over again, forever. He murmurs something into her hair. "Hmm?" She asks. He shakes his head.

"Nothing. Just… I'm glad you liked it." He says, and his voice is thick in the way it always gets before he cries. They sit there for a very long time long time, and then suddenly Ellie grabs the guitar and kisses the damn thing. Joel starts laughing. "What are you doing?" He asks, shaking his head fondly.

"It's magic." She tells him. He arches a brow.

"That so?" He asks. She nods, very serious.

"It makes you happy." She explains. He suddenly seems to have trouble swallowing.

"Not as much as seeing you happy." He says. She tilts her head back, looking up at the stars.

"Maybe I'm magic, too." She says in a whisper.

"I'd say so." Joel says, quiet enough that he thinks she doesn't hear.

She does.

**AN: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING SHORT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! THIS IS THE LONGEST THING EVER WRITTEN FOR THIS SERIES WHAT EVEN. So, I angsted and fluffed everywhere again. It was nice to see an actually happy Joel for once, wasn't it? I feel like he'd be one of those people who just love music so much it erases everything else. And… yeah. I'm actually really happy with this. My inner conscience is telling me my inner shipper is taking over but whatever it's platonic enough don't judge me. You'll be seeing some more of these 'shorts' pretty soon. I'm not entirely sure which one is next. I'll figure it out soon enough. If anyone's curious, the song Joel sang was 'Wake Me Up' by Avicii. I heard it on the radio for the first time on Saturday and it's become part of my soundtrack for this series. Listen to it. Instant Joel feels, I kid you not. Anyways. I love you all, I own nothing but the mistakes and the magic guitar, see you all next time!**


	2. ii

**AN 1: OK so intro for some new OCs. I know, I know, I hate OCs too. But alas, we cannot have an entire series mentioning only Joel, Ellie, Tommy, and Maria. So. Have some of the residents of Tommy's town. They're being introduced for a REASON. So. Keep that in mind. No additional warnings, except for obligatory swimming fluff (seriously Counting Stars is mostly fluff how did this happen) judgmental mothers and Louvenia, who needs a warning tattooed on her forehead. Also, creepy teenage boys who need to keep their eyes to themselves. Is that a thing? It should be. Not overly pleased with this one, but necessary introductions of important OCs. So. **

"I am _not _going in there, Joel." Ellie informs him, extra emphasis on the 'not'. He's trying to keep his face stern, he really is, but it's a good day and for the first time in ages he doesn't remember any nightmares. So, he allows himself a slight upward quirk of the lips. They're standing at the edge of the lake the dam helped form, in T-shirts and shorts despite the cool morning air.

"You can't keep goin' 'round not knowin' how to swim, Ellie. It just don't work like that. We live beside a dam, for crying out loud." Her expression of complete distaste doesn't change, and he sighs. "C'mon. It'll be fun. I won't let you drown, I promise." For a moment, he remembers Salt Lake City, remembers her nearly drowning, and he's filled with something like panic. "Please?" He mutters, and she looks over at him and sees his face and he knows he's got her now. She mutters something that sounds vaguely like a curse before peering over the water's edge

"Why are we here so goddamn early, anyways?" She asks crossly. She has a point there, Joel concedes. Fog is still settled over the town, and he can't hear many people up and about. Good. His mouth twitches into a frown for a second. He forces it off before Ellie can see.

"Because it's cooler out, and we'll be able to take our time and not worry about anyone interrupting us. The last thing you need is more distractions." He says playfully, nudging her in the shoulder.

"Are you implying I have a short attention span?" She asks, mock-affronted. He snorts.

"Ain't no 'implying' 'bout it. You do." He informs her, joking with a lightness he suddenly doesn't feel. "Now get in." He says, poking her between the shoulder blades. "If you jump it, you'll get used to the temperature faster."

"It looks cold." She groans.

"That's probably because it is. Now, either you get in or I put you in." He warns her. She snorts.

"You wouldn't- FUCK!" Ellie shrieks as he pushes her forward. He has about a second to be smug about getting the drop on her before he realizes her hand is around his wrist. Her momentum adds a whole fuckton of force, sending them both splashing into the water.

"Well, that was fucking graceful." Joel manages, spluttering up water. Ellie shakes herself like a dog and glares at him.

"Not. Cool." She grinds out, coughing up water. He shrugs innocently.

"I did warn you." He reminds her. "Well, now you're in. How d'you feel?" He asks. She moves around in the water a bit, expression thoughtful.

"Cold. Wet. But not like I'm dying. So, that's a plus." She offers. A short, barking laugh claws itself out of his throat before he can stop it. He masks it with a cough and crosses his arms.

"OK. Let's start with something simple. Floating." Ellie looks at him like he's got a coupla screws loose.

"I think I can manage floating without being taught." She says, raising a brow. He gestures to the deeper part of the lake.

"Be my guest." She eyes the lake warily, as if it's hiding some great and terrible creature.

"There's… There's nothing in here, right?" She asks quietly.

"Like?" He prompts, trying to keep the laughter from bubbling up. She gives him a look that says he's not doing a very good job.

"I dunno. Anything that can eat me? Sharks? Gators? Crocs?" Her eyes get wider with each word. Joel tamps down his amusement and shakes his head at her concerns.

"As far as I know, none of those critters live in freshwater lakes in these parts. There might be some fish. And plants. That's it. C'mon. I'll come with you. If you start getting nervous you can just grab onto me." He assures her. She mumbles some more curses and slowly makes her way across the lake. He snorts at her exaggerated movements. "You look like a fucking flamingo." He calls out, following her.

"Fuck off." She calls back, more as a reflex than out of any real spite. "You know this really isn't so-" Suddenly she shrieks and falls backwards, arms flailing wildly.

"Ellie?" And the sudden fear that comes over him is entirely illogical. They're in a lake, for fuck's sakes. There is literally nothing dangerous. And yet, he still finds himself running to catch up with her. He grabs her by the collar and pulls her up, nearly dropping her again when she attaches herself to him like a fucking starfish. "The hell are you doin', girl?" He half-growls, relieved she's alright but somewhat irked that she spooked the living shit outta him for no damn reason.

"My foot!" She yelps. "Something touched my foot, I'm telling you!" Joel rolls his eyes heavenwards and mutters a plea for guidance.

"Ellie. Nothing touched your damn foot. Now get off me and stop wasting time. You're gonna learn how to at least doggie paddle your way around, even if it kills me." Which, he muses, extracting Ellie's arm from his neck, it very well might.

He somehow manages to get her focused, which is a miracle in itself. She's a bit clumsy, but for her first try, it's pretty damn impressive. She crows happily with ever new achievement, getting her mouth filled with water half the fucking time and ending up coughing and spluttering and hollering loud enough to wake the dead. It's at these points where he has to step in and help her right herself, usually by just standing there and letting her pull herself up on his arm.

"I ain't a fucking jungle gym, you know." He mutters around the third or fourth time this happens, when the damned girl somehow manages to step on his hip while he's standing, and honestly how can any functioning human being actually do that.

"A jungle what?" Ellie asks, pausing her attempts to right herself and shooting him a curious look. He shakes his head and makes a dismissive gesture with the hand not supporting her.

"Nothin'. Just something kids used to play on Before. You didn't miss much." He assures her. She doesn't seem too bothered by it, like she sometimes does when he mentions things from Before, but he still feels a little guilty and doesn't make any fuss when Ellie kicks him in the side as she pushes off to continue swimming. "Dammit, Ellie…" Well, not that much fuss. The sun comes up, after a while, and the temperature seems to increase from one moment to the next.

"Fuck, it's hot." Ellie mutters, dunking herself underneath the water to cool off. She seems more at ease in the water, which is something, at least. Joel grunts his agreement and looks towards the down, a frown engraved in his face. "So… You gonna tell me what's going on or…?" Ellie trails off when she comes back up, looking at him knowingly.

"Nothing's goin' on. Just… Uh, five more minutes and then we call it a day. Tommy probably needs help with somethin', and we can't just be freeloadin' around his place all the time." Ellie makes a disbelieving noise.

"Uh-huh. I'm sure that's exactly it." She's treading water somewhat clumsily beside him, practicing even though she could probably stand if she wanted to.

"Your sarcasm needs some work."

"Practice makes perfect. Jerk. Now tell me what's going on." She stands now, crossing her arms.

"Or what? You gonna beat it out of me?" He teases. She gives him a look. He decides giving her ideas might not be wise.

"Joel, I'm serious. What's going on? Is everything OK?" She frowns, obviously running through lists of possibilities. "Did Tommy say something? Are we not allowed to stay anymore?" Her eyes grow wide. "Because if he was gonna kick us out I guess summer would be the nicest time to do it and Tommy would never be mean to us on purpose and-"

"Ellie." He interrupts. "Breathe, girl. It's fine. Tommy's not kicking us out. Listen, I'll tell you back at home. Let's just-" He's interrupted by the sound of chatter coming from the direction if the town. He groans quietly. "Great. Just fucking amazing." He growls. Ellie whips her head around.

"Oh. Her." She says quietly, not observing the gaggle of women but the blond lady at their front. "What is it you call her?" Ellie murmurs to him.

"Who? The Stepford Wife?" His face breaks into a smirk for a moment.

"Do you even know her real name?" Ellie asks with a quirked eyebrow, the reference flying way over her head, grabbing his shoulder and pulling herself up to see better, managing to step on his hip again.

"Louvenia Something-or-other. Tommy told me, but I wasn't really paying much attention." He grumbles. Ellie snorts.

"Why am I not surprised?" She says. She shifts her weight right then, causing Joel to lose his footing. They both end up crashing back into the water. Ellie is shrieking with laughter before she even hits the water, and Joel manages an amused snort before he remembers they're not alone. Ellie shoves him in the shoulder. "What, no witty quip? I'm shocked!" She's giggling when she notices Joel's face, and her own face falls immediately. "Joel?" She tries again, voice small. She turns her head, looking over at the women. "What's their problem?" She asks, obviously hearing them tittering to each other and glancing every once in a while in her and Joel's direction. Joel makes a noncommittal noise under his breath. The others are at least trying to be discrete, but the blond woman wasn't even pretending she wasn't looking at them. Joel doesn't like the look of her, and isn't surprised when Ellie shrinks closer to his side.

"C'mon, Ellie." Joel mutters, getting up. Ellie grabs his hand and pulls herself up, and he tenses. He doesn't look at her face, but he can hazard a guess what it looks like. She drops his hand and he grimaces. He'll have to explain that one later. Right now, though… He glances over at the women. It feels worse than being stared down by a pack of Clickers, in his opinion. Not that Clickers could see, but… Whatever. Still pretty fucking terrifying. He's hoping they'll let them pass but-

"Went for a swim, Joel?" No such luck. And he has to grit his teeth at her tone, because fuck. He's not in the habit of hitting the unarmed when there's no need for it, but he'd really like to wipe that smug look off her face. Shit, he is so not good at this. At people. At social interaction. Louvenia may not have a gun on her but that woman's words are something else.

"Uh… Yeah. I was teaching Ellie how to swim." No one ever prepares you for being stared down by a pack of disapproving mothers. This was fucking exactly what he was trying to avoid.

"Is that right?" Louvenia inclines her head, looking at Ellie. Joel almost shifts to block her from view, but that's not going to do either of them any good.

"They never taught us in the Z- The quarantine zone. And it's kinda inconvenient. So." Ellie puts in. The false sympathy on their faces is downright infuriating.

"I'm sure there's a lot they didn't teach you there, sweetheart. Shouldn't you be in school, hun? As fun as… swimming must be, you do need an education." And now some of those damn harpies are looking at him, as if he's Satan reincarnate for letting the girl have some fun instead of being stuck in a room with a bunch of kids for hours on end.

"For what? Quizzing the Clickers?" Ellie counters. Joel has to hide a smirk at that. Ellie's standing a little straighter, now. She's gotten taller, so that gives her at least some semblance of a presence. Louvenia's good-natured smile falters for a second.

"You shouldn't talk about those dreadful things, sweetheart. It's not right that you know so much about that side of God's green earth." And there go the looks at him again. He grinds his jaw. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like she couldn't come face to face with them every fucking day. He couldn't avoid that. He would've if he could've. Didn't they get that?

"Why? Is God gonna punish me for talking about them?" Ellie says, more than slightly patronizingly. Louvenia's smile falls completely off her face.

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain, sweetheart. You don't want to get smitten, do you?" Joel snorts, unable to control himself. Of course, the bible-thumpers manage to survive the apocalypse. Like fucking cockroaches.

"I've survived a hell of a lot worse than smiting. And I'm not your sweetheart. Come on, Joel." She grabs his hand and starts heading in the other direction.

"Ladies." Joel nods at them before quickly following. He's not entirely sure Ellie won't yank his arm off in her hurry to get away. Ellie curses a blue streak under her breath.

"Pretentious bitch…Who does she think she is, anyways…As if life wasn't hard enough…" Joel's shaking with contained laughter. Her eyes snap to his and he tries to control himself a bit better. "What's so funny?" She grits out. "She was totally calling me stupid. And she was talking down to me like I was a kid. And did you see their faces? Oh, poor little Ellie! Stuck living in that little shack with a crazy man. Bless her suffering little heart." She says the last part in a rather excellent impression of Louvenia's voice. Joel can't help laughing at that. "Bitches." Ellie mutters.

"Crazy man?" He asks. Ellie waves a hand dismissively.

"As if they don't call you that behind your back. And I don't like how they look at you, either. Like there's something wrong with you." Joel sobers up at that. She looks up at him. "They really don't like you." She informs him. He smirks slightly.

"That's the fucking understatement of the year." He replies.

"Why?" He shrugs at her inquiring expression.

"Hell if I know." Joel mutters. He sees movement out of the corner of his eye, and tenses automatically. Two boys, twins, older than Ellie, probably in their late teens or early twenties, are staring at them. Joel feels an uncomfortable prickling up his neck. There's a long moment where he's staring at them and they're staring back, before a voice shatters the stillness.

"Zachariah! Joshua! Come on boys, we need help over here!" And Joel's never been so happy to hear Louvenia's voice.

"Her sons?" Ellie asks. Joel nods. "Yeesh. She has kids?" Joel can't really argue with that. "I don't like them." She says quietly.

"Yeah. Me neither." He looks over his shoulders.

They're watching. He feels the prickle again.

"C'mon, Ellie. Let's go home."

**AN 2: Guess who's back, back again, Luciferine's back, tell a friend. HELLOOOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY! I just finished my obligatory swimming fic. I feel like a real author for this fandom now. Well that was a fucking short hiatus. IDK If it'll have even made 24 hours by the time I post this. Major Decisions of Doom? Made. Jabberwocky? Slain. With a machine gun. Joel would be proud. Fork in the road? Blown up. With dynamite. This game is making me violent. Clicker impersonation? Finished. Now let's do this. *puts on sunglasses* OK, so I have a motherfucking massive list of people to thank, but before that, some things. If you're wondering where that minor breakdown came from, I actually suffer from a severe anxiety disorder, to which writing is both the solution and often the cause, so that may happen again at some point in the future. The support I got was amazing, and you guys were hilarious. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT THE SHIPS, GUISE. SRSLY. I HAD PLOT ISSUES TO ANGST OVER, TOO. Mostly it was just a routine meltdown so y'all can breathe easy. But, for those who asked out of sheer curiosity, if there's any sort of Joel/Ellie shipping that's gonna go down (IF IF IF IF IF AND MAY I REITERATE, IF!) it'll definitely be Older!Ellie/Joel. Everyone will be nice and legal, don't you worry your pretty little heads. Once, again, IF! IF IT HAPPENS! AT ALL! And if it does, well, don't like, don't read. Every interpretation is different. I'll make that decision on my own when the time comes. SOTM has always been more of a personal thing than for any readers, and I forgot that. Y'all are a really great bonus, but it's also important to write for yourself, not readers. So. Glad I remembered that. Now, on to the thanking list. OK, shoutouts to my RL friends Chanel and Jenny who dragged me out of the mud through the worst of this episode of crazy, especially because Chanel's never even heard of The Last of Us, had no fucking idea what I was on about, and helped me out anyways, and because Jenny still hasn't gotten around to playing through the whole game but threatened bodily harm to the cause of my angst, offered to screen reviews for me, and is going to read SOTM and spoil the fuck out of the game because she loves me. A HUGE shoutout to the amazingly talented author and my new BFF CrimsonButterfly726 for talking a complete stranger down from the ledge and then befriending said crazy stranger whilst talking over PM for a massive chunk of time. I will protect you from Clickers for the rest of my days in repayment! Huge thanks goes out to Lex and Jen, aka consultingwriters, for writing me an epic pep talk and basically restoring my faith is myself, in SOTM, and in my decisions as an author. Thanks also to one of my amazing Tumblr followers, escondig, for giving me a pep talk when I needed it most, as well as to The Midday Moon, for pledging to follow this series anywhere and generally being really freakin' awesome, and Idlesc2 who literally said 'fuck us, you're the author, do what you want'. *slow claps* This series would have immediately crashed to a painful, grinding halt if it hadn't been for all of you. Kudos to Avicii, The Neighbourhood, and especially One Republic for giving me the title for Counting Stars from their latest hit, as well as generally being the SOTM soundtrack and keeping me just on the right side of insane. And a special thank you to Amy and Gus over on AO3 for being totally cool with it all from the start. I'm sure I forgot like ten thousand people but thank you to everyone who reviewed and supported me and told me to keep going and take all the time I need. And of course, a massive, immeasurable thank you to the ridiculously bothersome characters that rule my head and refuse to have me leave their story half written. For everyone mentioned, this is for you. And me, too. **


	3. iii

**AN: Walk up in the club like, what up I got a oneshot! Sorry. That was lame. Anyways. A couple more OCs introduced in this one, but after that I think that's all the major ones. You guys will hopefully like these two. This one will mainly be in Babs the Wood Witch's (don't ask I'll explain later) POV, mostly because I wanted to give you guys a snapshot of what other people think about the two newest additions to Tommy's town. We'll return to your regularly scheduled Joel or Ellie POV next time. Warnings include: underage drinking and minor descriptions of violence. Enjoy! **

The town was not a friendly place for strangers. She would know. She's watched Maria and her father build it from the ground up, with the help of that Texan boy. The younger Texan boy, she amends. There's another one around, now. The town's unfriendliness most definitely extends towards him. Generally, she wouldn't find fault in that. Trigger-happy homicidal smuggler moves into town with a teenage girl in tow, eyebrows are gonna be raised. But Babs is older than dirt and likes to think she's a pretty solid judge of character. And there ain't no evil in that man. She has no doubt that he's done bad things, but she isn't concerned for the girl's safety. At all. If anything, she's more worried about him. He'd follow that girl into the gaping jaws of hell, would and probably has killed for her. There's danger in loving someone that much. But she digresses. She's not overly concerned about either the man or the girl when it comes to each other. It's everyone else she's worried about.

As she said before, the town is no place for the unknown. Not knowing things makes people antsy. And antsy people can easily and quickly turn into scared people. Fear spreads like wildfire these days, and burns just as hot. It ain't the Infected people should be scared of, she thinks. It's each other. Human beings can do a lot more damage than a couple of Clickers. The pair in question seem to have taken that piece of wisdom to heart. They live at the very edge of the settlement, near her own modest dwelling, which is the main reason she became interested in them in the first place. She's heard about the newcomers, of course. She'd know nearly the second they came 'round the first time and she knew even quicker when they came 'round the second time. She wasn't particularly interested until she'd heard the man making a holy ruckus with that guitar of his. He ain't half bad, though, so she doesn't mind too much. He plays nearly every night, unless it's raining. And along with the song of the guitar, there is generally singing, nearly always on his part and increasingly on hers. On those nights, she often lingers at the edge of the woods and listens.

But, she muses, putting her thoughts back on track and taking another swig of the bottle in her hand, she's the only one who sees –or rather, hears- them like that. For the most part, they're hermits. Which, as she said, she thinks is a fabulous idea. The rest of the town? Not so much. She's heard things, terrible, mean-spirited things that would probably break the poor man's heart if he knew.

"The people in this town should put their energy into something more productive than gossip." She mutters to the bottle, taking another drink. She pauses when she hears a crash, and a blue streak of curses that even she would have trouble emulating. Curious, she rises from her battered rocker, knees creaking, and makes her way towards the sound. "Hello?" She calls out, swirling the contents of the bottle. The noises stop completely. "Hello?" She calls out again, annoyed. "Would you mind getting your ass out where I can see it? This is private property, ya know." She really shouldn't drink so early in the morning. It makes her cranky.

"Um, hi." Comes a sheepish voice from behind the shrubbery. A teenage girl limps out of it, trying to pry an interesting array of burs and nettle off of her person. "I'm really sorry. I had no idea anyone lived here." The voice is familiar. Babs doesn't have her glasses on her, and the booze isn't helping, so she squints, muttering curses under her breath.

"What's your name, girlie?" She demands.

"Ellie. Um. Ma'am. My name is Ellie." Babs about chokes on her next swig. Well. That would explain some things.

"Ah. New girl." She thinks she sees the girl tense up, but she ignores it. "What're ya doin' all the way in here?" And where, she wonders, is the trigger-happy Texan? He sticks to her like a fly on honey. The girl –Ellie, she corrects herself, her name is Ellie- makes a motion that Babs thinks might be shrugging.

"I was just going for a walk." She says, a tad defensively.

"In my shrubbery?" Babs snorts.

"It's not your shrubbery. It's part of the forest." Ellie argues.

"The whole damn forest is my shrubbery, you little smartass. Now get in here before something eats you and I'm staring down the wrong end of an angry smuggler's gun." Ellie makes some noise if dissent, but follows Babs into the house anyways.

"Joel wouldn't shoot you." Ellie mutters once they're inside. "Everyone here seems to think he kills people for the hell of it but-" Babs waves a hand dismissively, shushing her.

"I was just blabbing, girlie. Happens a lot when you get to be an old woman. I don't got no ill will towards your Joel. He keeps to himself. An old hermit like me can respect that. Besides… I've lived long enough to know people can't always see the difference between survival and crime. I wouldn't worry about it too much if I was you." She drains the last of her bottle and grabs another, along with two cloudy glasses. "Drink?" She offers, already pouring.

"Um… Ma'am?" Ellie begins, as Babs starts pouring onto the table instead. She mutters under her breath. "Fucking eyes… Go grab my glasses, girlie. On the stool beside you." Ellie obeys, and Babs snatches them out of her hands, all but shoving them onto her face and continuing on. "Yes. Good. Don't want to go wasting good moonshine on a table. Granted, I do use it is table polish, too…" She says this just as Ellie takes a ship. The girl starts to make some godawful dying noises.

"What the fuck?! What is this?" She croaks. Babs rolls her eyes.

"Keep drinkin'. The burn gets a bit more bearable around the fourth glass." Ellie looks at her like she's insane, but nurses the drink slowly. "Now, where were we?"

"You don't think Joel is a maniacal murderer." Ellie deadpans. Babs snorts.

"Quite. And don't you worry 'bout those women down by the lake. They ain't got nothing better to do than judge like the Lord's 'bout to come knocking." Ellie's head snaps up.

"How did you-"

"I gotta keep clean too, don't I? I was just mindin' my own business and then you are that man o' yours started splashing around like a pair o' mallard ducks. I swear he's got the patience of a saint with you. How anyone can think poorly of him when it comes to you, I do not know. I would've drowned you by now." She chortles. Ellie sniffs, offended. "Anyways. Don't worry 'bout those busy bodies. Now, Louvenia…" Ellie makes a face. "Mhmm. My thoughts exactly, darlin'. Now, I've known that girl since she was born. Probably wouldn't remember me if she saw me now, but that ain't the point. She didn't start out like that. It was only after the Infected started coming outta the woodwork. Then she went stir-crazy."

"You mean she wasn't always a nosy- Ow!" Ellie's cut off by a wooden spoon coming down on her hand. "The fuck was that for?" Babs flicks something off the spoon.

"Mosquito. You're welcome. She was always nosy, I suppose, but she went and got real obsessed with the whole idea of salvation. Probably sleeps with her Bible like some kids do with their toys." Ellie chuckles at that. Babs gesticulates wildly with her spoon, saying, "This ain't no laughing matter, Miss Girlie. When people like that don't understand things, they get scared. Then they get angry. And then it's a whole goddamn witch hunt. The last thing you want is her setting her sights on your Joel. Things could get ugly for 'im." Ellie sobers at that.

"D'you Tommy would listen to her?" She asks quietly. Babs snorts.

"Hell naw. Tommy's a good boy. Very level-headed, that one. Unlike some relatives of his I could name." Ellie snorts. "He knows Louvenia and her ways, too, so don't you worry none." Ellie makes a confused face.

"Then why-"

"Why's Louvenia dangerous?" She cuts the girl off again. Ellie rolls her eyes heavenward and sighs.

"Yeah. If she's not gonna get us kicked out, what else could she possibly do?" Babs drains her glass, pours herself another. She snorts at Ellie's, still mostly full.

"A good ten years after the virus hit, there was another little town. Louvenia was already married by then, and all three o' her kids were born-"

"Three?" Ellie interrupts. "Doesn't she only have those creepy twins?" Babs allows herself a small smile before shaking her head.

"She's got a girl, too. Pretty little thing. Imogene. Around your age. Maybe older, maybe younger. I can never tell. Doesn't get out much, though." Her eyes get a sad, faraway look for a moment, before she continues. "Anyways, I was living with them at the time, and in the town there was a man. Not very old, not even thirty. He didn't remember a time Before. So, as many of us tend to do in these times, he rejected the idea of God. Didn't push it on anyone, just didn't attend what Sunday services could be scrapped together, things like that. Now, Louvenia took this as an affront to everything she believed in. Started spreading lies about him, told everyone God would punish them for keeping him there. That winter was a hard one, and people started to believe her. At least, enough people did. Poor bastard turned up dead in the snow a week later. Shot in the head." Ellie doesn't make a sound, but Babs sees the fear in her eyes.

"She wouldn't… Tommy wouldn't let get to that. Besides, Joel can take care of himself." Ellie says, but it sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than anyone else. "I won't let anyone hurt him." She's fierce, now. Babs pats her arm reassuringly.

"I know you won't, darlin'. He's a lucky man to have you in his corner. I'm just sayin', be careful. Warn that man o' yours. Louvenia sees herself as the Lord's goddamn gardener. She's ain't very kind to the weeds." There's a moment of silence. "Want some more?" She says, suddenly cheery, waving the bottle around, as Ellie drains the last of her glass. She nods, and Babs fills the glass.

"Don't you worry 'bout Infected all the way out here?" The words slur slightly and Babs struggles not to laugh. This girl cannot hold her booze.

"Naw. No food for them out here except lil' old me, and I'm all gristle. But if any do decide to wander over here, I've got this." She pulls out a shotgun from underneath the table. Ellie makes a surprised sound.

"You know how to use that?" Babs rolls her eyes.

"Girlie, I've been shooting Infected since before you were a twinkle in your daddy's eye." She aims the shotgun at an empty bottle against the wall. She shoots, and it shatters. Ellie jumps. "It was my husband's." Her voice turns slightly wistful as she pats the barrel. Ellie's face turns sympathetic. Or at least, it tries to. Apparently the alcohol has slowed her reflexes.

"Did the Infected get 'im?" She asks. Babs shakes her head.

"Cancer. He died a long time before any o' this started. I'm always grateful for that." She drains her glass again. "Now, let's talk about happier things, shall we?"

They end up talking –and drinking- for quite some time. Babs finds she actually enjoys the company, even if Ellie won't be winning any drinking contests anytime soon. They don't realize how late it is until someone starts making a holy ruckus outside.

"Ellie! Dammit girl, where the fuck are you?!" Babs snorts into her glass as Joel's voice rings out.

"Looks like you're wanted, girlie." Ellie tries to stand up, but stumbles back into her seat.

"I don't think I can walk." She says, but it's so garbled Bab's may have totally heard her wrong. She snorts and goes to open the door.

"In here, you bumblin' idiot. Stop hollerin', 'less you wanna wake the dead." Joel grumbles under his breath, but does as she says. He squints at her. She looks dispassionately back at him.

"Wait a minute… Ain't you that old witch Tommy was tellin' me about?" He says suspiciously. Babs rolls her eyes.

"Sure. Come get your girl. I was about to bake her into a pie." She snarks.

"Joel!" Ellie crows happily when he walks in, ducking through the low door. She flings herself at him. She stumbles. "My legs don't work." She informs him solemnly when he catches her. He frowns, sniffing at her.

"Is that-" He turns and fixes Babs with one hell of a stink-eye. "You got her drunk?" Babs shrugs. He rolls his eyes skywards and mutters under his breath. "Fine. Ellie, we are definitely discussing this when you're sober. Runnin' off to get drunk with a witch. Jesus, girl." He's answered by a snore. They both look to see she's fallen asleep. Joel sighs good-naturedly and picks her up. She wakes up slightly.

"Where're we goin'?" She mumbles.

"Home." Joel tells her. She pouts.

"But I was having fun." She says, drawing out the last word at least four extra syllables. Joel snorts.

"I'm sure." He mutters. Babs holds back a laugh.

"Can I come and visit you again, Babs?" Ellie asks, face suddenly hopeful. Joel starts to protest, but then Ellie looks up at him with the same expression and he cuts himself off, grumbling.

"'Course ya can, darlin'. Anytime you want. Now go on and get some rest. You'll be feelin' it in the mornin'." She chuckles. Joel starts to head out the door. "Be careful. It ain't all that safe out there."

"Joel's got it covered." Ellie says, yawning. She settles her head back against Joel's chest and closes her eyes. Joel's hand twitches towards the revolver holstered at his side.

"Easy there, Trigger." Babs says, deciding she's quite fond of this nickname. "I didn't mean out here. Just be careful in the town, ya here?" Joel nods.

"What's so scary in the town?" Ellie murmurs. Babs rolls her eyes.

"Just remember what we talked about. There are scarier things out there than wild animals, darlin'. Much scarier things, indeed." Ellie's already drifting off, but makes an affirmative noise anyways. Joel nods at Babs, and she knows that he, at least, has taken her advice to heart. "Wait a second." She tells him. She rummages around at the back of the room before producing a package of herbs from somewhere amongst the clutter. "Here." She hands it to him. "Mix this with water and get her to drink it. It'll help with the hangover from hell she'll be havin'." Joel sniffs at it suspiciously. She rolls her eyes. "Oh, for chrissake. I'd have poisoned her already if I was gonna do it. Go on, now. Get outta my house. I've had enough of you two today." She shoos him out, pausing at the doorway. "Hey, Trigger." She can practically hear his eyes roll at the nickname. He stops and turns around.

"What?" He asks, exasperated. She nods at him and the girl in his arms.

"You two take care of each other, ya here?" His face softens, and he nods. She grunts and sits on the steps.

"Crazy old bat." She hears him mutter, but it's more mystified than anything else, so she doesn't throw a bottle at his head.

"Making new friends, I see." Another voice says. She snorts and motions for the person to come sit.

"They're good people." She says by way of explanation. The man sitting beside her if about her age, though dressed a sight more respectably. "Moonshine?" She offers him a bottle.

"Please." He says gratefully, taking a long swig straight from it.

"They're gonna bring us a load a trouble, ain't they, Eustace?" The man makes a sound of agreement.

"Did you give them any of your charms?" He inquires. She smirks.

"I slipped some herbs for good luck in the girl's pocket. She'll come again, though, and I can give her something more solid. Lord knows she'll need it." She snatches the bottle from him and drinks.

"It was kind of you to warn them." He offers. She shrugs. "What, exactly, are you so concerned about, if I may ask?"

"Scarier things than wild animals, Eustace." She takes a long drink. 'Scarier things indeed."

**AN: So, I really enjoyed writing this. Babs and Eustace are some of my favourite OCs I've ever made. They'll be popping up semi-frequently, and are Very Important to some future plot points. Hopefully you liked them. I wanted to try a different POV, as I mentioned earlier, and I think it went quite well. This, like the oneshot before and likely the oneshot after, are sort of introducing some conflict that will eventually spark the Major Conflict that will send us into the jaws of the first Angsty Oneshot of Doom. That is, if Babs' foreboding words haven't already clued you in on that. In case you missed it, FORESHADOWING. LOTS AND LOTS OF FORESHADOWING. Eustace will be making a more notable appearance next time, which I'm excited about because Eustace is fucking fabulous. Also, drunk!Ellie just sort of happened, but was amazingly fun. I wasn't even planning for Babs to drink so much but that too, just sort of happened. So. Also, just a PSA, I've had some inquiries on the subject of fanart and that sort of stuff, and apparently some authors don't like that (I have no idea why but whatever floats your boat, I guess) so I wanted to say, GO FORTH AND ART IF YOU WANT TO! No, seriously. You have my express permission. Fanart, fanvideos, idk what else there is but if you want to do anything SOTM related just hit me up, send me a link so I can post it on my Tumblr and share it with the world. SPREAD THE CREATIVITY! OK, I think that's all for now. I own nothing but the mistakes, the Magic Guitar (which has quickly become the best plot device ever), Eustace, Louvenia and her creepy-ass kids (unfortunately), the judgmental mothers, and Babs, and I love you all! See you next time!**


	4. iv

**AN: And we're back, with another installment of Counting Stars! Obviously. Anyways, this oneshot will be mostly focused on our favourite characters meeting Eustace, the OC I introduced at the end of the last installment, who actually isn't an OC. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy!**

"Joel…" Ellie whines, dragging his name out for what feels like a full minute. He's walking in front of her, fairly dragging her through town, but she can practically hear his eyes roll, regardless. "Please, Joel? I promise I'll be good. I'll… I don't know. Polish the guitar for a week." He snorts. "A month. A year? Please don't make me go."

"Don't tell me you're afraid of a trip to the doctor, Ellie." He teases. She doesn't say anything. "You've faced down Clickers and bandits and a fuckload of other shit. I'm pretty sure you could take some small-town doc in a fistfight." He reasons.

"Yeah, well. The last time I was around doctors it didn't exactly end well, now did it?" That's a low blow, and she knows it. She feels Joel flinch and guilt immediately wells up. He slows down, and loosens his grip on her hand. He turns to face her, sighing.

"Listen, Ellie…" And fuck, he sound all guilt-ridden and haunted and… Fuck.

"Ugh. Fine." She grumbles, grabbing his hand quickly and starting forward again before he can attempt to have a heart-to-heart in the middle of town. "Take me to the damn doctor. Just don't look at me like that." She tells him.

"Like what?" He seems confused, rightfully so, but he lets her pull him along.

"Like I… I don't know. Like I smashed your guitar or whatever. All sad and miserable. I don't like it. So just… Don't do it." She looks back at him, and he has a funny expression on his face. He doesn't look sad anymore, though, so she doesn't push. "Why do I have to go to the doctor, anyways? I'm not sick. And how the fuck are we supposed to explain this?" She asks sourly, waving her free arm, the one with the bite.

"Put that down!" Joel growls, batting at her arm. "The last thing we need is one of these idiots thinkin' your infected and runnin' around yellin' it to everyone." Ellie huffs, but complies. "And I don't have the foggiest idea how we're gonna explain that one. Tommy said he'd be hanging 'round there, though. Maybe he'll have an idea."

"Great plan, Joel. Amazing plan. I really think it's a winner." Ellie snarks.

"Worse comes to worse, we shoot 'im."

"The doctor or Tommy?" Joel gives her a look and she shrugs. "What?" She can see the retort about to come out, but then he looks up and yanks her to a stop in front of a rather ramshackle building.

"We're here." He informs her with yet another eye roll, shoving her through the door before she protests.

"Well this is… Um. Cozy?" Ellie attempts as they take in their surroundings. Joel snorts.

"That's one word for it." He says, shaking his head in disbelief. Ellie's inclined to agree. The walls are lined with shelves covered in jar filled with plants and… She's gonna be honest. She's doesn't have a clue what most of this stuff is. "Looks like Frankenstein's lab." Joel chuckles to himself. She shoots him a confused look and he shakes his head. "Nothin' important. Don't worry 'bout it." He assures her.

"I most ardently disagree." Comes a voice. Both of them jump, hands going to their holsters. "Now, now. No need for that. I'm quite harmless, I assure you." A strange contraption that Ellie can only describe as a ladder on wheels comes out from around one of the larger shelves. The man on it is older, a good bit younger than Babs but years beyond Joel or Tommy. This in itself is a bit shocking. Ellie's never seen anyone actually survive to be that old. He doesn't exactly look like much of a survivor, either. He's wearing glasses, for one, and is dressed in a lab coat that might have been white once, but has now turned an unpleasant shade of grey. "Frankenstein is one of the greatest literary accomplishments of all time. Hardly 'nothin'', if I do say so myself." The strange man informs them, hopping off of his ladder and approaching them. The sound of some crashing to the floor stops him in his tracks. "Oh, dear…"

"Joel, Ellie! Glad you could finally make it." Tommy grins, waving from behind another shelf. His expression shifts slightly when the man in the lab coat approaches. "Sorry, Doc… It kinda slipped." He says, motioning to a box at his feet that looks like it's leaking.

"Doc? He's the town doctor?" Joel snorts in disbelief. "Fantastic." Ellie can't exactly disagree with that.

"Aw, don't be like that, big brother. Doc's real talented. He's saved my ass more than a few times." Tommy assures him. Ellie looks over at the old man, still not feeling very convinced.

"Yes, well." Doc mutters, rummaging through the leaking box. "Maria would never forgive me if I let you bleed out on my operating table."

"You operate on people in here?" Ellie asks, and her voice comes out a lot smaller than she would have liked. Joel puts his arm around her and squeezes her shoulders.

"Well, not in this exact spot, but yes. When I have to. There's hardly any reason to be afraid, though. It's not as if I go cutting into people without a moment's consideration like those bullheaded Fireflies. You're quite safe here, child. I have no desire for a cure." Ellie tenses as his words sink in, fear gripping her for one horrible moment. The next thing she knows, Tommy is shouting.

"Easy, brother. Easy!" She realizes Joel is aiming his revolver right at the doctor, who doesn't even look up from his box.

"Another trigger-happy Texan. Fabulous. I can barely contain my excitement." The old man deadpans.

"You shut up." Joel growls. "And you." He motions towards Tommy with the gun. "I fucking trusted you with this, you bastard! How could you tell him? A doctor, Tommy! A fucking doctor! Do you have any idea…" He trails off, and Ellie's heart wrenches more than a little bit when she sees his face. She's not sure if Tommy can tell, but she's learned to read Joel well enough that she can see the hurt on his face.

"Joel, just put the gun down and let me explain." Tommy says, his tone pleading.

"Not likely, brother." He spits out the last word like it's a curse. Tommy flinches. "C'mon, Ellie. We're getting' outta here." And fuck, she wants to cry. Things were so good here. They were safe and they had a roof over their heads and dammit she was happy- The sound of the door busting open shakes her out of her thoughts.

"Hey Dad, I couldn't find- What the fuck is going on here?" Maria's voice is probably the best thing Ellie's heard all day.

"Ah, Maria. Just in time to see your brother-in-law shoot your husband and dear old dad to pieces. Give us a hand, darling?" The old man asks. Maria snorts.

"Put the gun down, Joel. Can't we discuss this like civilized people?" Maria asks, walking up beside him. Ellie can't see the look he shoots her, but it can't be all too pleasant because the older woman flinches slightly. "Right. OK. Forgot who I was talking to. Just… Easy, OK? No one's gonna hurt Ellie. I promise, even though that probably isn't worth much too you at the moment." Joel grunts in agreement.

"In my defense, I did say I wasn't going to cut into her so I really don't see the issue?" Doc pipes up. Tommy snorts.

"You coulda eased them into it, Doc. I did warn you Joel was a bit… Er…"

"Ridiculously, irrationally, entirely protective of the girl to the point of homicide? Yes. You did. My apologies. I suppose it could have been done better. My bedside manner never was the strongest." He says sheepishly. He looks over at Joel. "I really am sorry. It's just that it's not every day someone immune to the Cordyceps comes along, and I was quite excited to see what the girl was like. I may have gotten slightly ahead of myself. You can keep the gun on me, if it makes you feel better, but I promise I won't hurt her. I'm sure you don't need my permission to shoot me dead if I go back on my word." He reasons. Joel doesn't say anything. Doc sighs. "You're going to be difficult. I can feel it already."

"Joel, I think it's OK." Ellie finally pipes up. He gives her a look, which she ignores. "Tommy wouldn't have told him if he was gonna hurt me. Besides, it might be nice to get a professional opinion from someone who doesn't want to chop my brain into tiny pieces. It's OK. We're OK." She says quietly, nudging him with her shoulder. Joel swears under his breath, but to everyone's visible relief, he holsters the gun. He glares at Doc.

"One wrong move…" He threatens.

"And you shoot me. Yes, yes. I have no doubt. Come over here, child." He motions, and Ellie follows. Joel doesn't let go of her hand at first, and she smiles slightly at him.

"Joel." He heaves out a long-suffering sigh and lets go.

"Listen, Joel…" Tommy starts. Joel growls unintelligibly at him. Tommy sighs. "Doc is really fucking smart, OK? And we still have no idea how Ellie is able to be immune. He can learn things from her without hurting her. He's completely opposed to the idea of a cure, anyways." Joel makes a disbelieving sound.

"He's right, you know." Doc says from beside Ellie, leading them through a maze of shelves. "Fuck the cure, I say. What will come of it? More fighting over a vaccine, and of course only those with something to trade for it will be cured. It would cause a massive social rift and likely send us spiralling into another civil war. At least we're all on similar standing at the moment. A cure would cause chaos, not solve it." Ellie's never thought of it like that before. The cure being something less than ideal. It eases some of the guilt she's been feeling, and she feels lighter as she walks, just a bit. They approach a series of cots lined up, and Doc motions for her to get on the closest one.

"So… He's your dad?" Joel finally asks after some time has passed, seemingly not as riled up as before, looking to Maria. She nods.

"Yeah. He came up with the whole idea of a self-sufficient society. The livestock, the farming, all of it. He's a bit of a brain, in case you haven't noticed." She smiles, not without pride.

"Don't short-change yourself, Maria. Goodness knows I wouldn't have made it two steps without you watching my back. We're a team, daughter. And a very good one, at that." Doc says. "As for our more obvious differences, well. She takes after her mother. Good thing, too. One scrawny brain in the family is quite enough." He looks very seriously at Ellie, now. "Would you mind if I took a look at the scar?" He asks. She stays still for a moment before nodding, pulling up her sleeve. "Is Trigger over there going to shoot me if I do?" He asks, inclining his head towards Joel, who gives him a strange look at the nickname.

"Not unless I tell him to." Ellie assures him. Joel snorts, but doesn't contradict her. Doc grins.

"Fabulous. Then I will endeavour to be extremely nice to you so you don't sic your Texan on me." Doc winks playfully and she laughs despite herself. His face contorts with concentration as he observes her bite. "Most fascinating…" He mutters to himself.

"So this is why you wanted us to come here." Joel says to his brother, and his voice has a slight edge to it. Tommy sighs.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Doc knew, OK? I… It wasn't my call. And I'm sorry. I kinda thought you wouldn't take it as… Um. Well, like you did." Joel doesn't answer, but doesn't try to shoot him, either.

"I'd like to run some blood tests, if you wouldn't mind." Doc says. Ellie winces, but nods.

"I guess that'd be OK." She says. He grins and pats her arm.

"Excellent. It will take some time for me to find the proper equipment, though, so you can go, unless you have any further concerns?" He looks from her to Joel, who shakes his head and holds out his hand to her. She pauses for a moment, thinking.

"Could you take a look at Joel's side?" She asks. "He got a hurt a while ago and I want to make sure it healed OK." Joel groans.

"Ellie…" He begins.

"Please, Joel?" She asks.

"Fine. But I'm fine." He sits down beside her and lifts his shirt for Doc to see. The old man lets out a low whistle.

"How on Earth?" He wonders.

"Dumb bastard fell on a broken pipe." Tommy says, shaking his head. Joel glares at him.

"While being chased by a pack of fucking hunters. I didn't do it for fun." He grumbles.

"Why am I not surprised?" Doc mutters, smiling slightly. "However, I was inquiring as to how on Earth you're still alive? Without proper medical care the infection from this should have killed you." Joel snorts.

"I'm mighty hard to kill, Doc." He says. "Then again, I did have some help." He looks over at Ellie, who beams at the praise. Doc looks between the two of them and shakes his head, mystified.

"Well, it's healed remarkably well, all things considered. My only advice would be to try and not burst the stitches –very well done by the way, Ellie- because a second infection may well do you in, hard to kill or not. Is that all?" Joel nods in, getting to his feet.

"Uh… Thanks, Doc. And sorry for nearly shootin' you." Doc shrugs.

"All in a day's work, Trigger." He says. Joel snorts.

"C'mon, Ellie. Let's go." She obeys, turning briefly to wave at the little group staying behind.

"Hey… Doc isn't your real name, right?" She asks. He laughs briefly and shakes his head.

"My given name is Eustace." He informs her. Joel guffaws and Ellie steps on his foot, even though she's biting back a laugh. "It's a family name." He says, sniffing. "But you can see why I stick with 'Doc'."

"Your parents were cruel people." Joel replies. "Ellie, get a move on, girl." She grumbles at him, but does as he says. "See ya 'round, Eustace." He raises a hand in a wave, still chuckling. Ellie rolls his eyes at him and elbows him in his non-injured side, but she's glad to see his mood has improved.

"What a remarkable pair…" Doc muses, watching them go.

"You have no idea." Tommy says to him, shaking his head. "C'mon. Let's finish stacking these boxes."

"Try not to break any more of my specimens, Thomas." Doc says, eyes still trained in the direction they had went.

"Something wrong, Dad?" Maria asks. Doc shakes his head, a small smile on his face.

"Quite the opposite, I'd say."

**AN: Welp. So that happened. I got really positive reviews concerning Babs, and you guys were really curious about Eustace, so hopefully you liked him! As you probably know, Maria's dad is briefly mentioned by Tommy in the game, but we never actually meet him. Eustace was my answer to that unfortunate gap. So, an OC that is also not an OC. Not entirely sure if I like this one, but I think it went OK. In case you're curious, yes, Babs totally informed Doc of her new nickname for Joel and he totally adopted it. Anyways. I guess that's it. I only own the mistakes, Doc (partially) and his ridiculous nickname for Joel. Who will now probably call him Eustace all the time to piss him off. Maturity. *rolls eyes* Also, I have some new plans for SOTM, so yay! There will be at least two more separate stories before the terrible oneshots of doom, I'm pretty sure, both pretty fucking angsty. So. Enjoy the mindless fluff while you can. It won't be here long. I may start on the next story, or I may add another oneshot or two to Counting Stars. I'll have to think on it, so I may take some time with the next update. I love you all, see you next time!**


	5. v

**AN: Warnings for implied child abuse, minor descriptions of slight gore/violence, and copious use of Lion King lyrics.**

The day already started out shitty, Joel muses grumpily. It stands to reason the rest of it would be pretty shitty, too. The fucking water turbines died. Again. Meaning that Tommy's team of 'geniuses', and Joel used that term real fucking loosely, have to fix it. Again. And of fucking course the damn things had to breathe their last at a ridiculously early hour, resulting in one pretty fucking frazzled little brother coming to pound down his and Ellie's door before either of them had even started to wake up. Fan-fucking-tastic.

It might, he relents, have been slightly less shitty if Ellie could tag along. OK, fine. A lot less shitty. But Maria had gone and dragged the girl off with her for something or other. Whatever it is, he grumps to himself, can't be nearly important enough to drag her to the complete opposite side of town. Leaving Joel, Tommy, and the previously mentioned not-so-genius geniuses to do… something. Joel's not even sure what it is he's supposed to be doing, exactly.

Tommy occasionally wanders over and sends him off for some godforsaken errand, but for the most part, he's bored as fuck. And antsy. Even though he knows that Maria's a pretty decent shot and won't let anything happen to Ellie, who's not exactly a damsel in distress herself, he's still worried. And bored. Any attempts to get out of… whatever the fuck it is he's doing, are refused. Tommy just mutters something about terrorizing the children before waving him off. As if Joel has any fucking idea what that's supposed to mean.

He's not exactly the only one around, and if he was so inclined, he could try and strike up a conversation with one of the other poor bastards waiting for something to do. That is, if they stop avoiding him like he has 'Infected' tattooed on his forehead in big block letters. And he'd thought the welcome he'd got from their wives had been cold. He snorts to himself, shaking his head. To make things worse, the weather is, unsurprisingly, shitty. Joel has to admit he didn't think that much water existed anywhere. That, combined with the heat, is making working conditions damn near unbearable. The geniuses keep stopping ever minute or so to wipe the sweat out of their eyes. Joel takes small comfort in knowing he isn't the only one suffering.

Tommy ambles over after what feels like hours. He greets the rest of the men, laughing and joking and slapping backs left and right. Joel rolls his eyes. Tommy had always been better with people.

"You look fucking terrible." Tommy greets him, sitting down beside him. Joel grunts.

"Maybe 'cuz my dumbass brother interrupted my beauty sleep." He snarks back. Tommy chuckles and pats him on the back.

"Don't look so blue, brother. We've almost got it. Soon as everythin' is up and runnin' again, you can go save your girl from my wife's evil clutches and take a nap." He jokes, grinning. Joel looks at him suspiciously.

"You've almost got it?" He asks, fixing the younger man with a look. Tommy rubs the back of his head.

"Well, see, that would depend on your definition of 'almost', brother." He says, wincing. Joel rolls his eyes heavenwards and exhales in exasperation.

"Fucking fantastic." He growls. Tommy raises his hands in an apologetic gesture. Joel sighs. "Any idea what that's about?" He asks, jerking his head in the direction of the rest of the men.

"Any idea what what's about?" Tommy asks, with an innocent look that Joel recognizes well from their younger years.

"That shit don't work on me and you know it." He punches Tommy in the shoulder, light enough not to hurt too much, but hard enough to prove a point, earning him a glare and several muttered curses.

"In case you haven't noticed, you're pretty damn scary, Joel." Tommy says. Joel fixes him with another look. "What? It's true. God knows Ellie's the only one who can calm you down when you've gone full-out psycho."

"I do not go 'full-out psycho'." Joel mutters. Tommy gives him a look of disbelief.

"You're kiddin', right? Tell me you're kiddin'." Joel stares blankly at him. "Oh, for fuck's sakes. Joel, I don't have enough fingers to count the times you've nearly shot someone in town. This week." Joel snorts. "I'm fucking serious. If you weren't my brother I'd have kicked you out for disturbin' the peace ages ago."

"That and the fact that I haven't actually shot anyone." Joel reminds him. Tommy makes a disbelieving noise.

"If Ellie wasn't there to give you a good kick in the ass when you lost it, we'd have a higher body count than the fuckin' Cordyceps on our hands." Tommy shakes his head. "Point bein', everyone's fuckin' terrified of you. And Ellie." Joel's head snaps up at that.

"Ellie's never hurt nobody in town." He says. Tommy shrugs.

"But she could. Girl has a higher body count than most of the men here put together. Not to mention, anyone so much as looks at her wrong and they've got your damn revolver right between the eyes. People are gettin'… concerned, Joel." Tommy says the last part quietly. Joel's expression hardens.

"Concerned, how?" He asks, voice low. Tommy plays with the cuffs of his shirt, and dammit, Joel knows that tick. "Tommy." His voice is quiet enough so no one else can hear.

"Tommy, get over here! We think we've got it this time!" One of the geniuses shouts over. Tommy makes a sound that Joel is pretty sure counts as a sigh of relief.

"That's what you said last time. And the last ten times before that!" Tommy shouts back, voice playful. The undertone is shaky, though. Joel wonders if he's the only one who hears it.

"Twelfth time's the charm!" The other guy replies, too fucking cheerful for Joel's liking.

"This conversation ain't over, brother." Joel mutters as Tommy gets to his feet. Tommy looks at him for a moment.

"No, I reckon it ain't." That part's so quiet, Joel's not even sure he was supposed to hear it. "Go on over to Doc's and see if he needs help with anythin'. You ain't doin' much here, anyways." He says, louder this time. Joel's not exactly happy with being interrupted, but he makes a sound of agreement and gets up. "See you 'round, Joel." Tommy says, clapping him on the shoulder. "We'll, uh, talk later, OK?" And Joel would feel a whole lot better if Tommy didn't sound like he'd rather eat broken glass.

The walk to Doc's is even shorter than usual, considering the old man's stomping ground is made from a sectioned-off corner of the same factory that houses the turbines. Joel walks in without knocking, a habit he'd started in the first place for the pure annoyance on Doc's face whenever he did. The area is as freakish as ever, jarred specimens of things Joel doesn't even want to think about arranged on shelves like they're fucking centerpieces. The only difference today is the smell. Doc's usually smells of antiseptic and formaldehyde. Today, Joel's slapped in the face with the overpowering scent of… incense?

"What the fuck?" He mutters to himself. "Hey, Doc! You in here?" When no one answers, Joel goes looking. He hears the soft murmur of voices after a while and speeds up.

"Oh dear…" He recognizes Doc's voice. Well, that and the fact the old man's the only person in town who actually says 'oh dear'.

"It's not that bad, Doc. I've had worse." Joel doesn't recognize this voice. Young and female, but that's all he can tell. There's an undercurrent of gallows humor to her voice that doesn't sit well with him, though. He rounds a corner and stops. Doc is fussing over a young girl lying down on a cot. A stick of something, Joel would assume the incense, is burning beside her. That's not what stops him, though. The girl, who looks to be around Ellie's age though her face is one of those you can never really be sure about age-wise, has bruises all up her arm. Joel can't even see normal colored skin on it.

"Imogene…" The old man begins, shaking Joel out of his thoughts. Doc's voice is angry, and that in itself is enough to shock him. "It's really quite important that you tell me-"

"I fell, Doc. Out by the lake. There were some rocks and I slipped and I fell, OK? It's hardly anything new." Joel shifts awkwardly, not entirely sure if he should make his presence known or not. He gets a heavy feeling in his gut, looking at this girl. Doc makes a frustrated noise.

"Is the incense working, at least?" He asks the girl. She nods, smiling gratefully.

"I feel a lot calmer." Joel wrinkles his nose, not entirely sure how this goddamn smell is supposed to calm anyone.

"Good, good." Doc says. "I'm glad. I'm afraid, however, there's not much to be done for the bruises. I can give you some herbs to take home, if you're in much pain?" He asks the question like he's asked it many times before, with little success. The girl shakes her head.

"Momma would just throw them out. The Lord cures all ailments, Doc." Her smile is self-deprecating. She tenses slightly, and for a moment Joel thinks he's been caught out, but her eyes are trained on the opposite side of the room.

"There you are, sis. Momma's throwing a tantrum fit to raise Jesus." The boys from the lake. Joel grits his teeth. The girl smiles, but even Joel can see it's not genuine. The girl is scared stiff.

"I'm coming, Joshua. I was just…" She trails off.

"Helping me organize my herb collection." Doc lies smoothly. Joel can't see his expression from here, but it must be something because the boys don't come any closer.

"Smells like the devil in here." The second boy says, wrinkling his nose. "What sorta voodoo you been up to, Doc?" The tone isn't nearly as playful as it sounds on the surface.

"Nothing of your concern, Zachariah." Doc says, and if Joel didn't know better he'd say the old man nearly growled.

"I should go." The girl says, hopping off the cot and moving towards the boys. They look identical, but the one that spoke first, Joshua, looks over to where Joel's standing. He tenses.

"You're Joel, right?" He asks, with a grin that sits on the wrong side of friendly. Joel inclines his head in the affirmative. "You might wanna stick around. That girl of yours went and got herself shot." Joel freezes, eyes widening. The boy's grin fades just enough to change his expression entirely. "If I were you, I'd keep her on a tighter leash." With those words left ringing in the silent room, the three siblings exit. The girl shoots Joel a concerned look, but he doesn't notice.

"Good for nothing little shits." Doc hisses, his usual composure gone once they've left. He turns to Joel, probably gearing up calm him down, when the door busts open again.

"Fuck, Maria, I told you- Fuck. I'm fine. Seriously. Fuck." Ellie's voice echoes in the otherwise quiet room and Joel wasn't even aware he was moving but now he's right in front of her and- Fuck. Her head is bleeding, and he wants to scream or cry or something and fuck he never should have let her go off alone what kind of man is he oh god…

"Easy, Joel." Maria says, her face calm. How the fuck can she be so calm?! Ellie got shot in the fucking head-

"Joel." Ellie snaps. He blinks and looks at her. "I'm fine, dumbass. And it's not my head, either." She rolls her eyes, as if she's read his mind, and then promptly winces. She hops awkwardly, and his gaze lowers to her leg. The left leg of her jeans is soaked through with blood.

"Give her to me." His voice comes out hoarse, and his skin is crawling like he's going to explode. Maria doesn't hesitate, handing Ellie over to him.

"For fuck's sakes, Joel! Ow! Fuck! Watch the leg, dumbass!" She tells him as he picks her up. "Is this necessary? I don't feel like this is necessary." He ignores her protests and fairly runs back over to Doc, depositing her on the nearest cot as gently as he can.

"Who?" He growls as soon as she's safely positioned, Doc immediately beginning his fussing. Ellie rolls her eyes.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking." She snarks, face contorting briefly with pain. Her face softens when her eyes meet his. "Joel…"

"Who?" He growls out again. "Before I go out and start shootin' everyone within range." He's not exactly seeing straight, and maybe Tommy's right, maybe he does go full-out psycho, he doesn't give a fuck. The edges of his vision are red and his hand is itching for his gun and hell if someone isn't going to die for this. He hears Maria say something, probably an attempt at calming him, and fuck he doesn't fucking care she'll be lucky if he doesn't shoot her too for letting this happen fucking hell-

"Some kids were shooting at cans in the schoolyard, Joel. It was a stray bullet. A complete, total accident. I fell and hit my head. Half of them started crying when they saw blood. No one's out to get me. Idiot. Now give me your fucking hand. I need something to squeeze." Her tone softens the words, more affectionate than anything else. She holds out her hand, and he takes it without question. Whatever she needs, of course he'll do it.

"Only you could manage to get injured on a fucking playground, Ellie." Maria says, voice fond, and fuck her she doesn't get to talk like that, like she's family when-

"Be nice." Ellie mutters, squeezing his hand. Joel grumbles under his breath, though his vision clears slightly. He still glares at Maria, who looks at him very apologetically.

"Your girl said down, Trigger." Doc reminds him. Joel reminds himself that smacking the old man would prevent him from helping Ellie, and restrains himself.

"Yeah, 'Trigger'. Don't aggravate the wounded. Jerk." Ellie says playfully. He gives her a look, but it lacks any real heat. She just smiles and squeezes his hand again.

"What's the damage, Dad?" Maria asks. The old man has already managed to cut away the bloodied material from Ellie's leg. Joel moves to get a better look at the injury, but Ellie's hand tugs him back, anchoring him to the spot.

"The bullet's still lodged in the wound, but it'll be simple enough to remove. It was quite a clean shot, considering the circumstances. It should heal right up once the bullet's out. Stitches will be required, though." Doc moves away from Ellie's leg for a moment, looking at her head wound. "Head should be fine, as well. Cut isn't deep, skull doesn't appear to be so much as cracked, won't even need stiches. Do you feel dizzy, Ellie? Any urges to vomit?" Ellie shakes her head. "Hm. Excellent. I'd doubt a concussion will result, but overnight monitoring will be necessary, of course, just to be on the safe side." Ellie groans. Joel tenses, believing it to be a sound born from pain.

"You mean I don't even get to go home and sleep in my own bed? That fucking sucks." She complains. Despite the situation, Joel's heart warms slightly at the sound of her calling somewhere 'home'. Especially somewhere with him.

"I'll stay with you." He promises, squeezing her hand. She looks like she's about to argue, but then she sighs.

"Fine. Doc?" She asks. The old man snorts.

"I doubt I could remove him from your side even by surgical means." He mutters. "I do wish the electricity would come back on." He mutters.

"Do you need it? To fix her up?" Joel asks, and he's pretty damn sure that he'll go and hand crank those fucking turbines until they run if the old man says yes.

"No, no. This is a fairly simple procedure. There's enough natural light." Doc assures him. "Now, I have some morphine in the back-"

"No drugs." Ellie says, voice firm. Doc blinks at her, confused.

"Ellie, this will hurt. It needs stitches. I highly suggest some form of anesthetic." He says worriedly, looking at Joel for help.

"The last time I was on morphine I almost didn't wake up. I'd rather not." She says quietly. Everyone in the room looks at the floor. "I can take it." She says more loudly.

"If you're sure…" Doc says, clearly unhappy. Joel doesn't focus on the process after that. He just looks at Ellie's face. She tells him dumb jokes, trying to make him feel better, and isn't that the most fucking backwards thing in the world. She doesn't scream when Doc disinfects the area, or removes the bullet, or when the needle goes in, but Joel's pretty sure he'll have cuts from her nails engrained on his hand for the rest of his life. He doesn't mind all that much. The small, pained sounds she makes hurt him a lot more. He keeps telling her how brave she is, how well she's doing. He's not sure whose benefit he's talking for, his or hers. The lights flicker back on about halfway through. Joel doesn't even notice.

Once it's over, and Doc has assured Joel several times –"Trigger, I swear on Darwin's Theory of Evolution I will stab you with my scalpel if you ask me that one more time"- that there is little to no chance of infection, and yes, they have antibiotics just in case, and yes, the head wound will heal better left uncovered, Joel allows himself to relax. It only occurs to him that Maria left the room when she reappears with Tommy in tow. His brother is wheeling something into the room, and Joel has to grin when he realizes what it is.

"No fucking way." Ellie breathes, and fuck, Joel could kiss Tommy right now he's so happy to see her so happy. "Is that a TV?" Tommy grins, nodding.

"Yep. Electricity's back on –turned out fourteenth time was the charm- and Maria came and told me about your little adventure, so I figured you should at least get some entertainment if Doc is holding you prisoner for the night." He offers Joel a small smile, and Joel returns it. Doc snorts.

"This is rather unorthodox." He muses.

"Unorthodox is your middle name, Dad." Maria teases. Doc tilts his head in her direction, conceding the point.

"Very well. Why not? I already have a PTSD-ridden smuggler staying the night. Protocol went out the window ages ago. Bring on the flicks!" He chuckles. Maria hefts a large bag onto the cot beside Ellie's.

"Want help choosing one?" She asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Fuck yeah!" Ellie says, eyes sparkling with delight. She turns her head to Joel, eyes hopeful. "You'll watch it with me, right Joel?" He sighs, fully aware he's probably resigning himself to two hours of horrible acting and possibly singing.

"'Course I will." He says. She makes a happy little sound that makes his heart clench and goes back to rifling through the VHS's with Maria.

"Joel?" Tommy says quietly. He turns his head. "Remember when I say we'd talk?" Joel nods, checking one last time that Ellie's OK before following his brother to a quiet corner. Doc tags along, and really, Joel shouldn't be surprised that he knows whatever it is, too.

"Lay it on me, brother. What've I done now?" He asks. Tommy snorts.

"That's a loaded question." His face becomes serious. "You gotta realize you don't exactly have the most… Erm… Orthodox, to use Doc's word, of setups." He begins. Joel raises an eyebrow. "Think about it, Joel. You and Ellie come up outta nowhere, kick some serious bandit ass, and blow outta here faster than you came in. People were curious. And then the second time 'round, well. You start livin' here, you don't bother anyone, but you don't talk to anyone. Which would be fine enough, if it was just you. Grumpy old hermit needin' his space. But then there's Ellie, who's a better shot than anyone here 'sides you, who doesn't talk to anyone except for the grumpy old hermit and occasionally his family, and has probably killed more people and Infected than anyone here before, all before she's even fucking of age. People don't get it, Joel. And people are afraid of what they don't get." Tommy explains.

"Not to mention that you're not the sanest of specimens, Trigger." Doc offers. "Aside from the obvious PTSD and borderline –that's putting it mildly- obsession with keeping that girl safe from all harms of the world, you seem to lack a moral compass. Which you don't really need, because Ellie exists, and she works just fine. But, in my experience, my trigger-happy friend, people don't like their fate being decided by a teenager, especially one with a veritable Weapon of Mass Destruction for a protector. It tends to make people… What's the word…" Doc trails off.

"Edgy." Tommy says. "Edgy as fuck." Doc nods.

"And?" Joel asks. "What do you want me to do about it?" His voice is low, dangerous. Tommy looks at him and sighs.

"We want you to be careful, Joel. You're my brother and I'll protect you and that girl o' yours to the extent of my ability and then some, but I ain't God, Joel. I can only do so much. And I don't like what I'm hearin' 'round here." Tommy confesses.

"We can take care of ourselves, Tommy." Isn't that what they've been doing? EllieandJoel against the world. It's always been that way. This isn't any different.

"I know that, brother. But…" He trails off and looks to Doc for help.

"These aren't Infected, Joel. These are very human, very mortal people. They're a whole different animal." Doc says gently. Louvenia's son's words echo in his head, suddenly. If I were you, I'd keep her on a tighter leash…

"I have to get back." Tommy says. "Just… Think on what I said, OK? Maybe go visit the old witch more often. Just… Keep outta sight, if you can." Joel nods.

"Thanks for the warnin'." He says. Tommy nods, a worried expression crossing his face before he leaves.

"Thomas." Doc calls. Tommy stops and turns around. "Come find me later. We have to discuss… what we talked about this morning." Tommy's eyes cloud over with something too much like rage.

"Again?" He fairly growls. Joel wonders if it has anything to do with the girl that was in here earlier. Doc nods.

"Again." His voice is solemn. Tommy exhales angrily. He thanks Doc and hurries back the way he came.

"Hey, Joel! Doc! Come on! You're gonna miss the beginning!" Ellie shouts at them, breaking the tension immediately.

"Wouldn't want that, now would we?" Doc says, waggling his eyebrows at Joel, who snorts.

"Guess not." With that, they make their way over. Maria says goodbye, before going off to help Tommy.

"Have fun" She chuckles.

"Shove over." Joel grunts to Ellie, who snorts, but makes room anyways. He lies down on the cot, Ellie lying down on top of him. Doc simply sits down on the next cot over, shaking his head at their antics.

"Is that really necessary?" He asks, amused. Ellie snorts.

"Trust me. He'd just wander over every five minutes or less to ask me if I'm OK. This is a lot more convenient for everybody."

"What're we watchin'?" Joel asks, pointedly ignoring her –very correct- observation. His eyes already heavy. Damn, he needs some sleep.

"The Lion King. Now shut up and take a nap. I'm tired of your grumpy ass." Ellie says. He mumbles some sort of comeback into her shoulder before drifting off.

He wakes up to the sound of singing. Of fucking course.

"It means no worries…." Ellie half sings, half laughs.

"For the rest of your days…" Doc adds on, swinging around the shelves on his wheeled ladder.

"Please stop." Joel mutters.

"It's a problem free…"

"Seriously, people. Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Philosophy…"

"I'll put you both in a chokehold until you shut up. Don't think I won't."

"Hakuna matata!" They both finish, fairly choking with laughter. Joel rolls his eyes.

"Disney is genius. We must watch more, Ellie." Doc says, after he's calmed down.

"Not today you won't." Joel grumbles, though he knows he probably will, if Ellie asks. "You're old as fuck, Doc. Haven't you seen 'em all?" Doc sniffs.

"I'm not that old. And no. I never found the time. Took the fucking apocalypse to get me to watch my first Disney movie. I've been gravely deprived of some quality entertainment." He says.

"Whatever." Joel mumbles. Ellie is still laughing, shaking the cot. "Have fun?" He asks sleepily. She turns her head into his shoulder, nodding. She looks up at him and her eyes are dancing and… fuck. Despite the lead in his gut at Tommy's words, he knows that he'll do anything to protect her. To make sure she feels this way every day. He'll take on the whole fucking town, the whole fucking world, if he has to. She's his everything.

And Joel protects his own.

**AN: Well. That was fucking long. And sappy. I really enjoyed this, actually. Sorry it's coming so late. Inspiration hit at an untimely time and Internet was out. I made it extra long to make up for it. Huge thanks goes out to all of you, everyone who's been sending me asks on Tumblr and everyone who's sending me TLOU fan videos and killing me with feels (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) as well as videos of certain very giftedly-voiced voice actors singing WITH A GUITAR thus giving me MORE FEELS (you know who you are) and everyone who's asked for my SOTM playlist and even inquired as to my opinions on ships and characters (WHY DO YOU PEOPLE TALK TO ME I'M A MARSHMALLOW HOW DO YOU WORDS I'M NOT EVEN IMPORTANT AT ALL) and to everyone who's been with me from the beginning, as well as those who just joined up, thank you so much for everything. Thanks too, to those who are absolutely terrified of the oncoming Stories of Doom. Things will be bad, but I promise to fix them. Eventually. Maybe. Hopefully. So, Imogene made an appearance this chapter. She's actually pretty boss. You'll figure that out soon enough. But shhh, spoilers. Just an FYI, Doc and Ellie's obsession with Disney was something that came to me in the very beginning and it just had to happen. So. Yeah. Sorry about that. A bit of ridiculous fluff to lighten the angst. It will be a recurring plot point OK it's not my fault. It actually comes into play eventually, though. 'Hakuna matata' means 'no worries' in Swahili, by the way. So it fits with what's going on, kinda telling the characters AS WELL AS ALL OF YOU to chill because it'll all be OK. YAY FOR APPLICABLE DISNEY SONGS! I own nothing but… Ah, fuck it. You know the drill. Up next will probably be a fluffy camping fic so. Yeah. Beware of cavities. I LOVE YOU ALL SEE YOU SOON!**


	6. vi

**AN: I know I promised camping fic but my muse demanded brotherly heart-to-hearts. What can you do, right? There's actually another as-of-yet unwritten fic that preludes this one. I'll get to it. Eventually. There were some unsolved issues in Tommy and Joel's relationship that really bothered me so I decided to take a break from my usual. I wasn't planning on writing anything today, but hey. Why not? Another Joel POV because, well. Kinda necessary. We'll move on to Ellie's as soon as my muse lets me. Anyways, enjoy!**

"Looks like it won't let up for a while." Tommy says, leaning against the rock wall and watching the heavy downpour of rain.

"Fantastic." Joel mutters, sitting on the ground and grimacing as his back screams in protest. "We're stuck here, then."

"There are worse places." His brother reasons, coming to sit down beside him. "We could be stuck out there." Joel has to agree with him on that one. It was by sheer dumb luck they'd been rooting around for animals in one of the larger cracks in the mountain face. They were dry, at least. Well, mostly. They hadn't escaped the initial downpour quite as gracefully as they could have.

"Where d'you think everyone else went?" Joel asks after a long pause. "Think they made it home before the rain hit?" They'd been out with a hunting party, trying to stock up for the long winter ahead. At least, the old woman says it'll be long, according to Tommy. Apparently she works as a weather forecast along with being a pain in the ass. Joel blames her for this, he really does.

"We were pretty far in front. I reckon they made it back before it got too bad." Tommy replies. "Why, you worried?" He tone is teasing. Joel snorts.

"Hardly. Just wonderin'." He replies. He shifts uncomfortably against the rock. The damn rain better let up or he's not getting any sleep tonight.

"Old bones givin' you trouble, brother?" Tommy asks. He seems genuinely concerned, underneath the teasing.

"Oh, shuttit. You're not that much younger. Besides, you ain't exactly doin' cartwheels, either." Tommy shrugs.

"Too long sleepin' on a bed instead of hard ground, I guess. We can't all be immune to losin' our edge like you." There's something to that, Joel's sure. An edge in Tommy's voice that wasn't there before. Usually Joel would ignore it, but after last night… He pulls away from that thought quickly. He doesn't even wanna think about what tonight will be like. The last thing he wants is for Tommy, of all people, to hear him wake up screaming. Usually Ellie's there to calm him down, but… Shit. Ellie. Will she be able to sleep, either? More importantly…

"Is the witch's house patched up properly?" He asks. Tommy looks at him funny, which makes sense. It's not exactly a conversational question.

"Worried about Babs' fragile health in this weather?" Joel actually laughs at that.

"That old bat wouldn't die facing a Bloater with her bare hands. A cold won't do her no harm. But Ellie was goin' to visit her while I was out and…" He trails off. Tommy smiles knowingly.

"And you're worried about her. I got it. I wouldn't worry too much. I doubt it even rains on top of that shack. Babs probably did some voodoo on it. 'Sides, she loves that girl. Probably has half a hundred potions to ward off any illness, and she'll make Ellie drink all of 'em if she thinks she needs it." He assures Joel. Joel nods, knowing his brother is probably right. "You really love that girl of yours, don't you?" Tommy asks, voice tinged with something not unlike awe.

"What makes you say that?" Joel asks, pointedly not looking at his brother.

"Because you worry about everything when it comes to her. Not just things like bandits or Infected, but stupid things, like colds and… I don't know, the possibility of drowning in two feet of water. You were never like that." He's quiet for a little bit. "Before you came 'round that first time, I thought… I thought you'd never feel anythin' ever again, Joel. And now here you are, pining for a teenager who's probably less than a mile away. Hell, who am I kiddin'. You'd probably still be antsy if she was around the corner and you couldn't see her." He laughs, but there's sadness in it. "The crazy part is, she's probably pacin' around, drivin' Babs even battier than normal, askin' if she thinks you're OK, if the rain will let up soon, if you'll be home before dark. The old woman probably had to tie her to a chair just to stop her from lookin' for you in this mess." He motions outdoors, shaking his head in disbelief. "I just don't get it. I thought you were gone, Joel. I thought the brother I knew was long gone and then this girl pops up from nowhere and damn well fixes you. It doesn't make any senses."

"There ain't nothin' fixable about me, little brother. You should know that better than anyone." Joel says, voice quiet. Tommy snorts.

"But that's just it. I know the things you've done. I've seen you hurt people, Joel. Innocent people. I've seen it all first hand and I know what you look like outta control, and you're not. I see flashes of what you were back in Boston, but it never comes back. Not completely. And it's her, it's all her." Joel wants to hide from the barrage of memories that hit him at Tommy's words. He doesn't want to remember Boston. Last night was bad enough. He doesn't think he can handle much more. But his brother's right about one thing, at least.

"Ellie's pretty damn magical that way." Joel agrees.

"I've been tryin' to figure it out. Even before you two came back. The first time you came 'round, I saw it. Even then. And I've been tryin' to figure out what changes a man like that, what makes a man turn his back on a cure for the whole world for the sake of one, solitary girl. It's more than love or devotion or anything I can put a name to. And it fucking terrifies me." He admits. Joel watches him warily.

"You thought the world could get better." He says, after a long silence. "When you went to join the Fireflies and we nearly shot each other, we were so angry. You thought it could get better. When we came back I was expecting you to shoot me point-blank for taking that away and you didn't. Why?" It seems off-topic, but they both know it's anything but. Tommy chuckles softly and looks up at the ceiling.

"You remember what Doc said? About the cure not being the answer?" Joel nods. "That's it, I think. I always knew that. Somewhere inside. The world isn't gonna get better with a miracle vaccine, Joel. It's gonna get better if people stick together. If people don't forget to be human. The Cordyceps turned a lot of people, but the rest? The rest of the shit that happened? That was on us. People shootin' other people in the streets, robberies, murder, rapes. A vaccine would stop the Cordyceps but it couldn't stop the human race from bein' a monster. We find our own cures for that. Ellie's yours, Maria and the town are mine."

"No matter what, you keep findin' somethin' to fight for." Joel almost smiles, quoting his conversation with Ellie what feels like so long ago. Tommy nods.

"Exactly. That's all I ever wanted. For people to keep fightin'. For you to keep fightin'. And you did. She did. How could I fault either of you for that?" Joel swallows against the lump in his throat.

"When Tess and I," He still chokes a little on her name, the grief old but still aching, "when we found Marlene and she told us to take Ellie… She talked about you. Then I made a wisecrack about you leavin' the Fireflies and she said that you left me too, that you were a good man. The whole, 'I wasn't' didn't exactly need to be said. Because I'm not. Haven't been for twenty long-ass years. For what it's worth, though, I'm sorry. About Boston. About everythin', I guess." Tommy nods.

"Me too, brother. But you're wrong about one thing. So was Marlene." Joel looks at him curiously. "You were always a good man. You just… Forgot it, for a little while. And honestly, are you really gonna take character critiques from a chick who was gonna kill Ellie for the sake of maybe savin' the world in its current shitty state?" The noise Joel makes at that memory sounds terrifying in the small quarters. Tommy doesn't seem too worried. "Didn't think so. So shut up with that self-antagonizing crap. It's gettin' real old, real fast. And don't gimme that look because I know for a fact Ellie tells you the same thing daily. You callin' her a liar?" Joel rolls his eyes.

"You always were too much of a smart-ass for your own good." He grumps. Tommy shrugs, his face smug. The silence that follows is lighter between them than it has been in ages.

"Why'd you end up leavin' the Fireflies?" Joel asks eventually. "It's been buggin' me for ages. You were so convinced they were the answer. What changed?" Tommy is silent for a long time, face stony.

"They were no different than the military, in the end." He says eventually, and Joel doesn't even know why that surprises him. "They were just as corrupt. They just had different goals. But they were the rebels with a cause. They were a possibility in a world where there was none left. They were bright and shiny and catchy for a while but… Well. You've seen their handiwork first hand. Another reason why I couldn't stay angry about you and Ellie bustin' outta there. Marlene meant went, don't get me wrong. From what you told me, that night you got here, it seems like she knew what they were doin' was wrong but she was too far gone to do anythin' about it." Silence again.

"She begged me not to kill her." Joel mutters. "She looked up at me and begged me to let her go but all I could see when I looked at her was betrayal. Not for me, of course. I barely knew her. But for Ellie, you know?" Tommy nods.

"At this point, it's kinda the same thing." Joel snorts in what sounds like agreement.

"They were friends. She looked after Ellie after her mom died and… I just… I'll never understand how she was able to do it. To make the call. Maybe you're right and she was too far gone but I can't bring myself to feel any sympathy." He takes a shaky breath. "I've killed a lot of people. But it felt damn good, shootin' her. Knowin' she could never come after Ellie again." He looks at his brother. "Rethinkin' your earlier character assessment?" Tommy shakes his head.

"As far as I can tell, you haven't killed anyone in a long time that hasn't been for her sake. I'd say that's as much as anyone can hope for as far as your redemption goes." The sound of the rain seems to lessen slightly, and Joel allows himself some hope that he might get home tonight.

"I don't think I ever thanked you properly. For givin' us a home. I know things haven't exactly been easy with the people." Joel starts. Tommy waves him off.

"You're my brother, Joel. Wherever I settle down there'll be a place for you, too. And Ellie too, since you've sorta become a packaged deal at this point. If anyone doesn't like it, well. No one's bein' forced to stay. They can take their chances with the Infected if they can't handle a couple of people who are a little different." Tommy grins slightly at the end, but Joel can tell he's dead serious.

"What, then? We keep the town runnin' ourselves?" Joel asks jokingly.

"Yep. You, me, Doc, and the girls. Maybe Babs could be persuaded if we got her drunk enough." Tommy says, playing along.

"Which would take more moonshine than we have water at the dam." Joel reminds him.

"Fair enough. We'll just have to hope folks start warmin' up to you two, then."

"We might have better luck with the dam full of moonshine." Joel says, only half-joking.

"It'll get better." Tommy assures. "Folks have serious respect for you. And Ellie too, for that matter. They're just scared, Joel. None of them could take either of you in a fight. Folks don't like knowin' that. Makes them feel powerless. But they'll figure out eventually that as long as they don't mess with the bull they won't get the horns." Joel laughs outright at that.

"Which one is which?" He asks. Tommy shrugs.

"Depends on the situation."

"And what if something does happen?" Joel asks. Tommy looks at him questioningly. "What if the next time Ellie gets hurt it's on purpose and I have to go and shoot some unlucky bastard? Then what?" Neither of them even considers the idea of Joel letting something like that go without death being involved. Tommy exhales.

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it." He says wearily. "But I won't kick you out, if that's what you're worried about. I can't fault you for protecting each other. Just… Try not to kill anyone unnecessarily. Give me a heads up, at least." Joel nods.

"I can agree to that." He says. Tommy offers his hand, and they shake on it.

"The rain's stopped." Tommy says suddenly, and it's only then that Joel notices the absence of sound. "Let's go." He says, slapping Joel on the back.

* * *

"They're back!" Ellie crows from the window. Babs rolls her eyes.

"Took them long enough." She mutters to herself. Ellie is fairly bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement. "Go on, then. I'm sure Trigger's fairly beside himself from being away from you for more than five seconds." She slams the lid on the teapot in her hands. Ellie eyes it warily.

"What exactly are you making?" She asks. Babs rolls her eyes.

"Not makin' anything, girlie. Puttin' somethin' back in. Tempest in a teapot." She says, shaking the pot in Ellie's direction.

"Freaky old woman." She mutters fondly, before nearly knocking the door down in her hurry to get to Joel. Babs peeks out the window, seeing the brothers laughing and joking just as Ellie fairly tackles Joel in her delight.

"Works every time." Babs chuckles, going out to greet them.

**AN: Well. Um. I made a thing? I guess? IDK what to say about this one. Yay for brotherly love, I guess. Everything between Tommy and Joel was so vague and I really needed to at least start to fix things. So that's what I kinda did here. Updates will be as regular as my muse allows so hopefully that's often. The oneshots of doom may happen soon. Or maybe not. IDK anymore. We'll see where it all goes. I actually have an outline, which is something. Some vague idea where the plot might go. So that's good. Probably not for anyone's feels but whatever. I own nothing except for what I own, thanks for all the support, see y'all next time!**


	7. vii

**AN: This one is a Doc POV. Basically, he flashes in and out of different scenarios, telling Joel and Ellie's story as he's heard it from the beginning. It covers territory that will be familiar, as well as some new stuff. Warnings include: 16 PUCKING PAGES OF WRITING WHAT THE FUCK, nosey as fuck neighbours, descriptions of violence, reference to attempted sexual assault, bullying, yeah. Generally not good. Enjoy!**

Doc likes to consider himself as a family man. Granted, his family has decreased significantly in number since the outbreak, but it's still there. Little, and broken, but still good. He chuckles softly to himself at yet another Disney reference. Maria will surely strangle him for them one day, if Trigger and his revolver don't beat her to it. But he digresses. Family. Very important, that. Especially when one finds oneself in the midst of the zombie apocalypse.

For the longest time, it had been him and Maria. After her mother died… Doc winces. Well. That's a story for another time. Then they'd met Tommy in their travels, and their duo had become a trio, with Maria and Tommy becoming their own little duo. Which Doc was surprisingly happy about. Tommy was – still is- honest and kind. A rare breed. A little quiet whenever his past is brought up, but then, don't they all have their secrets in times like these? Doc loves to make fun, but at the end of the day, he really does consider his son-in-law one of the finest men he knows.

They'd been happy, the little trio. They'd built a town from the ground up, started their own little civilization. Not too shabby, as Tommy would say. They'd met Babs muttering about on the lakeside, and she'd become something of an eccentric great aunt to them. A trio plus one, so to speak. Not quite a cohesive unit, but something. And it was good. And then Ellie and Joel happened. Doc snorts. Now those two… That's a story better than anything he could ever find in his library.

* * *

"What do you mean, his brother?" Doc fairly hisses. Maria raises her hands in a gesture of surrender.

"What're you growling at me for?" She asks defensively. "I told you everything I know, Dad." Doc sighs, turning his attention to the plethora of crushed jars on the ground on his workplace. Those idiot bandits apparently thought they'd find something other than preserved scientific specimens in the jars. The clearly labeled jars, might he add. The cleanup may very well kill him, where Infected and non-Infected alike have failed.

"Allow me to summarize, then. Tommy's brother – the same brother he's told us about, mind you, the homicidal smuggler with a chip on his shoulder- showed up this morning with a young girl in tow asking for Tommy's help to… what, exactly?" Doc mutters, poking morosely at what used to be one of his fungal experiments.

"To take the girl to UEC for something. Tommy didn't exactly have time to explain because the girl up and ran off on one of the horses." Maria answers. Doc rolls his eyes.

"Fabulous. The homicidal smuggler has a thieving teenage accomplice. I can think of no reason why we shouldn't help these people." Doc says sarcastically.

"There's no reason to get pissy." Maria sniffs.

"There's every reason to get 'pissy', daughter. How on Earth do you know they're telling the truth about… Anything? Tommy could be going off to his death!" He exclaims.

"Don't." Maria says darkly, a warning. Doc exhales.

"I'm sorry. That was out of line. I worry, you know I worry. I'm just a silly old man, Maria. What do I know? If Tommy trusts in this… expedition, I'm sure it will all turn out alright." He assures her.

"You're not a silly old man." Maria admonishes. "I was telling Tommy the very same things, but…" She sighs. "He saw something in them, I guess. The girl's an amazing shot, at least. Tommy won't be without decent back-up. I can take some comfort in that." They're both silent for a while, and she helps him pick up some of the worst of the damage.

"I'd never want to speak to that man again, if I was Tommy." Doc muses. "He never told us a great deal about his past, but the pain there… That much is obvious. Then again, forgiveness always did seem to come easily to him." He smiles slightly.

"Do you think they'll come back before heading out?" She asks worriedly.

"I should think so. They'd have to get supplies, make plans, and start out as early as possible tomorrow to make the most of the daylight. It would be the most logical thing to do." He says.

"Unfortunately, 'logic' never was Joel's strongest point." Tommy comments from the doorway. Maria doesn't dash over to him like one of those insipid movie heroines, because his daughter does not dash, but it's a near thing. Doc allows himself a smile of relief.

"Where'd they go?" Maria asks, noticing her husband is alone. Tommy's face is a collection of relief and regret.

"Turns out, Joel couldn't part with his girl after all. Well, that and Joel was terrified you'd shoot him if I got hurt." He says to his wife, grinning. "They took a horse and headed off to the university themselves." He explains. Doc makes a small noise of surprise.

"He's either very brave or very stupid." Maria mutters, though she doesn't seem too upset with her husband safely at her side.

"There's hardly a difference." Doc points out. "Well. That's… Well. I'm very glad you won't be leaving us, Thomas, however… I find myself somewhat concerned. Will they be alright?" Now that the immediate danger of his son-in-law possibly trekking to his doom is over, he finds himself concerned for the strangers who were kind enough to send Tommy back.

"They've managed OK so far. You shoulda heard the kid when Joel tried to talk her into goin' with me, though. Damn near threw a fit. She wouldn't leave him if her life depended on it." The awe in Tommy's voice is definitely surprising, and Doc finds himself rather disappointed that he wasn't able to meet the rather fascinating-sounding duo. "And Joel… I've never seen him like that. He really fuckin' cares about that girl."

"Obviously, if he's willing to embark on this rather complicated mission." Doc notes. "How strange… It appears your brother has had a rather extraordinary change of heart, Thomas." Tommy snorts.

"That's puttin' it mildly."

"It appears she's… fixed him. Some of him, at least. What a remarkable girl… Do you think they'll be back?" He asks curiously.

"I hope so." Tommy says.

"Indeed." Doc muses, looking out the window to the setting sun. "As do I."

* * *

"Thomas, the time to pull infantile tricks on me is not when I am holding corrosive substances." Doc grits out, corking the beaker in his hand and placing it on a nearby table.

"This ain't no trick, Doc. She really is immune." Tommy assures him. The old man levels him with a stare. "I swear to God, Doc. She is."

"There is no known cure to the Cordyceps. It mutates at an exponential rate. It's alive, Thomas. You can't very well cure something that can fight back, now can you?" Tommy shrugs.

"I'm no scientist, Doc. But the girl was bitten nearly a year ago and she hasn't turned. She's immune. That's why they went to the Fireflies." He explains.

"If she really was immune, there is no way in heaven or hell that the Fireflies would let her go. A cure would be priceless. If what you say is true, the girl should be at one of their bases right now." Doc says, waving a scalpel as he makes his point. Tommy winces.

"About that…" He trails off. Doc pauses, suddenly getting a very bad feeling about the destination of this conversation.

"Your mass murdering brother did them all in, didn't he?" Doc deadpans. Tommy stays silent. "Fabulous. Just fabulous. Roughly how long do we have until Marlene busts down our proverbial door?" He asks. Tommy is still silent. "Oh, for the love of… Marlene, too? Well. No one can say he's not thorough." Doc removes his goggles and sighs. "Well. This is… Unprecedented. What do you plan to do?" He asks.

"I can't exactly kick 'em out, Doc. Joel's my brother. And Ellie's… Well, whatever she is to him, she's important. Important enough to kill an entirely Firefly faction for."

"Important enough to effectively doom all mankind for." Doc adds.

"C'mon, Doc. Neither of us really believe that." Tommy says. Doc shrugs.

"Fair enough. I can't say I'm not curious. About either of them. What are the chances of me escaping an encounter with the dynamic duo with all my extremities intact?" He inquires. Tommy snorts.

"As long as you don't make any sudden movements or try to hurt one of 'em, you should be fine. Oh, and don't mention that I told you about Ellie the first time 'round. Give 'em a chance to adapt, first. Knowin' Joel, he'll think you're gonna cut into Ellie's brain like the others were, and he'll shoot you dead."

"Cut into her- Ah. Yes. Well." Doc sighs. "Terribly unimaginative of them, if you ask me. Not that anyone does. Ever. Which is quite frankly, somewhat upsetting. Considering there's probably half a hundred other ways to pass on the cure. They were going to kill the only living example? Honestly. Idiots. What if it's genetic? If she could pass it on to her children? Or if it could be transmitted by blood transfusion or any other number of things? Hacking into a teenage girl's brain would only solidify the degree to which mankind has –pardon my French- fucked itself over." Doc huffs.

"You think you could figure something out?" Tommy asks, interested. Doc levels him with his patent I-am-a-genius-underestimate-me-at-your-own-risk look. "OK, OK. I'll see what I can do. But Doc… She's his whole world. I ain't even exagerratin'. I've been around them for all of a day and it's more obvious than the sun in the damn sky. And people get a little crazy when it comes to the things that matter. Joel especially. Just be careful. She's as good as family, now." Doc waves a hand dismissively.

"I'm not going to treat the girl like a lab rat, Thomas. If any discoveries are made, they will simply be happy coincidences. I assure you, I will be the very image of subtlety." He promises.

In hindsight, he thinks much later when he has Trigger's revolver fairly shoved in his face, he might have spoken a bit too soon regarding the last part.

* * *

Doc starts to worry about the townsfolk's reactions to their newest additions early on. At first, it's just the general curious mutterings that would follow anyone until the newness wears off. He's heard them plenty of times, and they're hardly troubling. Granted, the fact that they visited twice is cause for some extra interest. Everyone wants to know why they left, where they went. Doc admits that he was once curious himself, but now that he knows… Well. It's not as if anyone else can ever know, is it? He cringes at the very thought of it. The town would riot. The cure they all hope and pray for, sitting right in front of their noses. Ellie would never know peace for as long as any of these people lived. Doc knows exactly how that particular story ends, and it isn't happy for anyone involved.

Therefore, whenever anyone asks him if he knows anything about the mysterious newcomers, Doc will snort, tell them to mind their own business, and send them on their way. As if he's completely uninterested in the goings-on of everything outside of his workspace. Which, he thinks, would make everything a whole lot more convenient. In reality, he's terrified. Terrified of someone finding out. Terrified of something going terribly wrong. He thought the founding of the town would be the end of his fear. But, as he's said before, humanity is far more terrifying than the Cordyceps. Far more, indeed.

He and Babs talk long into the night many a night, both slightly inebriated and wholly concerned. Her telling on the little incident by the lake twist his insides with anxiety. If he's being quite honest, Louvenia terrifies him. The woman holds a strange power over the townspeople that Doc will never understand. Perhaps she holds the last shred of the old world, of churches and order and belief. Of faith, which is so hard to come by. Nothing like his Maria, frank and to-the-point, no matter what. When she talks, Doc thinks with no small bit of pride, people listen. Louvenia is different. She's insidious. Her words lie dormant until one day they're not anymore. And so, Doc is afraid.

"-completely and utterly immoral." He overhears –very well, he's spying, what else is he supposed to do, desperate times call for desperate measures- one day. Louvenia and some of her choice disciples cluck concernedly and Doc desperately wishes that woman would fall into the lake. And not come out. Ever. "An unmarried man and a young girl living together. It's completely inappropriate." Louvenia says, and her voice is so thick with fake concern he's sure it must be something solid.

"Maryanne told me they only have one bed in that shack of theirs." Another woman chirps, and for fuck's sake that doesn't even-

"Someone really should say something to Tommy." A third pipes up. Doc almost wants them to, just so Tommy could tell them where exactly they could shove their polite 'concern'.

"I would, truly, but they're brothers. You know how it is with family." Louvenia says sadly, and what the hell would she know about family when her daughter's skin tone could probably be officially classified as black and blue, and she doesn't even notice- He cuts himself off, seething.

He doesn't stay to listen to any more. He fairly storms –not stomps, a gentleman does not stomp- back to his 'office' and mixes dubious substances until he's fairly sure he's made something approximating a Molotov Cocktail. He briefly considers throwing it at Louvenia Wilkes' head. He grumbles under his breath and begins to attempt to separate the mixture back to its original components. The door opens, and he freezes. If it's Tommy or Maria they'll want to know what's wrong because it's fairly common knowledge that Doc creates explosives and other dangerous substances when he's stressed.

"Hey Eustace, you in?" He's quite sure he's never been quite so happy to hear Joel's voice.

"In the back, Trigger. A moment, if you please." He calls back, keeping his tone cheerful.

"Are you making something that explodes, Doc?" Ellie asks, and of course she's here too. Do they even count as two separate entities at this point? Her question makes him choke on his own laughter. If only she knew.

"Nothing quite so exciting as that, I'm afraid." He lies. He discreetly locks away the materials to be dealt with later –he's fairly sure they won't explode as they are- and goes out to meet them. "Now what have I told you both about coming in unannounced?" He asks.

"To do it as often as possible." Ellie replies cheekily. He rolls his eyes, glad for the goggles. He's quite sure his eyes are still cloudy with worry. If either of them knew… He doesn't think he'd be able to handle the looks on their faces.

So, he huffs with mock annoyance, and jokes and laughs, and pretends everything is perfectly fine. Because it is. Really.

It has to be.

* * *

It's still relatively early in the day, and Doc is arranging some of his medical textbooks –the one that survived, meaning not many, and never the ones he needs in a pinch, naturally- when he hears familiar, light footsteps against the floor.

"Hey, Doc? Are you here?" Ellie's voice is softer than usual, more subdued, which should probably have been his first clue. Naturally, it flies right over his head.

"Ellie! To what do I owe the pleasure? As for you, Trigger, do I not even warrant a greeting?" He chides playfully, turning around.

"Uh… Joel's not here." She says quietly. That definitely gets his attention. He looks. Sure enough, the girl is alone. Doc's heart stops.

"Is he hurt?" He asks, even though that doesn't quite fit, because Ellie would be screaming curses at him to hurry up if anything was wrong, but Joel would never willingly be away from Ellie for an extended period of time for anything less than a dire emergency. He's already inching towards his medical kit. Ellie shakes her head quickly.

"No, no. He's fine. He's with Tommy." She assures him. Doc frowns, confused.

"Does he know you're here?" He asks. She nods.

"He wouldn't have let me go off alone unless he knew I was gonna be with you or Babs or Maria." She says. "Old habits, I guess." She says, shrugging. Doc can't help but feel a little bubble of pride at the fact that Joel trusts him enough to keep Ellie out of harm's way while he's not present. The elated feeling quickly stops when he gets a good look at Ellie's face.

"Would you like to sit?" He asks. She nods. They walk over to one of the cots and sit down. Neither of them speaks. "You know, I'm quite a fan of silence. It can be wonderful, especially for productivity. If you'd like to continue sitting in silence I'm perfectly fine with that. But if there's something you want to talk about, that's fine, too." He says softly. Ellie exhales, and it sounds shaky, and for a brief, panicky moment he's terrified she's about to cry. Not because Joel would be infuriated, but because the idea of Ellie and tears simply don't go together. Ever. In any situation. He calms himself, though. He's raised a teenage girl before. He can handle this. He briefly debates taking a swig of some of Babs' moonshine that he keeps as an emergency anesthetic. He decides against it.

"If I tell you something, can you promise not to tell Joel? Or anyone else, but especially Joel?" She asks him quietly. A whole slew of thoughts come to mind, none of them particularly comforting, and a cold ball of dread settles in the pit of his stomach.

"I promise." He says, just as quiet. From a professional standpoint, he supposes there would be exceptions, but this is Ellie. This is friendship. This is family. So he promises. "I'll take it with me to my grave, if that's what you want." She nods, but doesn't seem any happier.

"What's a harlot?" She asks suddenly, and he blinks, confused. Then her question settles in and he clears his throat.

"Well. Um. It's. Well. The etymology of the word-" He begins. Ellie gives him a look. "Right. You'd want the most current definition, I suppose. In layman's terms, it's an old-fashioned word for a woman who others see as being sexually promiscuous." Another look. "Synonyms with… Um-"

"Slut, skank, whore?" She offers bitterly. He looks at her, mouth agape. He nods. She looks away. "I thought so. I just… I wanted to make sure." Realization is not the welcome companion it usually is. It hits him, hot and angry and shameful.

"Ellie, did someone call you all those things?" He asks. She shrugs, pointedly looking anywhere but where he's sitting. "Ellie-"

"It's not a big deal. Seriously." She says upon seeing his expression. "It's literally the farthest thing from a big deal. It doesn't bother me at all. Bricks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. That's what people Before used to say, right?" She asks.

"Sticks and stones, actually, but bricks work too." He offers her a small smile.

"Yeah. That sounds more like what Joel said." She says, smiling back. Her expression falls again. "You really can't tell him, OK? It'll kill him. Just… You can't, OK?" And she sounds terribly close to tears. "He already worries about me enough and…" She trails off.

"Can you tell me who it was?" He asks her gently, when it appears she's having trouble speaking. He has a list of suspects already spawning in his mind, and he feels a deep anger he hasn't felt in a very long time. How dare they? How dare their parents put those ideas in their heads? He has half a mind to-

"Just some stupid kids." She assures him. "I don't even know their names. And it was just two or three. Some girls around my age and an older boy. It's fine, Doc. They're just kids. What do they know about anything?" Her voice contains a convincing nonchalance that he sees through immediately. He's been around too long to be tricked.

"Nothing." He assures her, quiet determination leaking into his voice. "They don't know anything about anything, Ellie. Don't listen to a word they say." She nods.

"I know. I… I know. But if they're thinking it… They must've heard it from somewhere, right?" He looks down at his hands. "Their parents, probably. Their moms. Does the whole town think I'm…?" She trails off, unable to finish the question.

"Of course not." Doc assures her. "It's just a few uneducated, close-minded individuals causing a ruckus for no good reason." He's not entirely sure if it's the truth, but she seems to believe him.

"Yeah. That makes sense. The other kids were either ignoring them or trying to get them to stop. A few of them seemed really upset about it and said they'd go tell Maria if they didn't stop. It's just a few people. Nothing to worry about." He's not entirely sure which one of them she's trying to convince.

"Who on earth even says 'harlot' anymore." Doc mutters in a sad attempt to lighten the mood. Ellie snorts. In reality, he knows where it probably came from. He can imagine a battered old Bible and a huffing mother reading her children outdated passages.

"It just… It makes me so mad." She says, anger lacing every word.

"They should never have called you those things." Doc agrees. "It was cruel and infantile of them." Ellie looks at him, confused. She shakes her head.

"No, not about that. Well, yeah, about that, but it's more than that, too. I mean, kids in the Zone would say worse to their best friends. It's not like I've never heard it before. I've been the new girl before. But they… They said things about Joel, Doc. Things that weren't true. Mean, stupid things and it's not fair and I couldn't take it so I punched them. Well, one of them." She mutters. He wants to get her to elaborate slightly on the part about Joel but first things first.

"You punched one of them?" He asks. She hesitantly shows him her right hand. He winces. The knuckles are badly split. He curses himself for not noticing it sooner. He grabs his medical kit. "What in the world- Ellie. You should have told me about this at the beginning." He scolds her gently. She shrugs.

"It's not a huge deal. I've had worse." She says.

"It is a very huge deal, Ellie. Promise me you'll tell me straight away if, very well let's be honest, when you get hurt next time, OK?" He says just a bit too harshly, because that just reminds him of another young girl he's had to patch up far too many times and dammit what is wrong with this town? She gives him a sad excuse for a smile.

"That's what I was doing, Doc." She tells him, and... He doesn't exactly have a response for that. He sighs to himself, disinfecting the split skin and wrapping her hand. He's about to prompt her to continue, but suddenly she's shuddering, and he wonders if the disinfectant was too strong or-"They had no fucking right to say those things about him. About us. Joel's good, Doc. He's never laid a hand on me and… and… I've known bad men, OK? There were a whole fucking lot of them in the Zone and when Joel was hurt that time in winter there was this guy… And he…" She trails off, and her eyes are the sort of glassy that Doc's seen in trauma patients and fuck he is not sober enough for this by any means. They're both shaking, and Doc wants to ask but he doesn't want to know and Christ, how did it even get to this?

"Ellie?" He prompts softly, terrified of startling her. She seems to snap out of whatever hellish memory she was reliving.

"I know bad men. I've killed bad men. And Joel isn't. He's not. He's not and they can't say those things because they're not true, dammit, they're not because he's not he's not…" There's a note of hysteria in her voice that worries Doc on both a professional and paternal level. He shushes her softly, He puts an arm around cautiously, relaxing when she doesn't flinch.

"I know, darling. I know. Of course he's not. Every sane person in this town knows Trigger's a good man. He's one of the best men I know. What you two have is something entirely special and entirely different, and people don't understand. But I know and Tommy knows and Maria knows and, most importantly of all, you know. Nothing's going to happen to either of you. You're safe now, Ellie. You're both safe, I swear it on my life. This is my town, and if anyone doesn't like it they can very well pack their bags and leave." They sit in silence for what feels like a very long time.

"It's not fair, Doc." She tells him. He sighs and pats her back. This is so far from over, he can't even begin to see the end. Anger and empathy and sadness pulse in his brain, and all he can think of is how to fix this. Not just the situation but the pain the girl is clearly in. He wonders if she's talked to Joel about that time in the winter. He'll need to revisit that, and he dreads it. But not now. Not yet.

"Believe me, child. I know."

* * *

The hour in incredibly late, and the only reason Doc is still at work is due to the monumental disaster that had occurred earlier today. Tommy had, once again, managed to accidentally cause the destruction of several important specimens. That had reacted with each other. Violently. He's long since sent the boy home. As much as another pair of hands would be appreciated, he senses that Tommy would only make things worse. Not that he'd ever tell the boy that, but still.

"Hey, Eustace?" A voice calls hoarsely from behind him. He nearly jumps out of his skin, nearly tipping over a –highly reactive- vial in the process. He whips around, heart in his throat. A figure steps out of the shadows, head ducked down. Even so, it wouldn't take a man of Doc's intellect to figure out who it is. There are only so many men six feet tall and above in the town.

"Trigger?" He asks incredulously, once his heart has stopped pounding. "What on earth are you doing here? Shouldn't you be sleeping? Shouldn't Ellie be sleeping?" He looks around for the girl, and upon noting her absence, is reminded of another similar visit not at all long ago. Dread once again settles in his gut. "What's this about?" He asks, more resigned than anything else.

"Ellie's asleep." The younger man says. He pauses. "At least, I sure hope she is. Knowin' her, though, she's probably waitin' up." He admits. "Which is why I need to make this quick. She'll come lookin' if I'm gone too long." He explains. Which explains absolutely nothing. Doc stares at him blankly. Joel actually looks… sheepish. He holds out his hands, and Doc considers chugging down the aforementioned vial full of corrosive substances. They're a bloody mess. Doc adjusts his glasses, turning on another light for good measure. He silently praises his son-in-law for keeping the electricity on for him this night. Upon further inspection, the rest of Joel doesn't exactly look much better. He's battered a bruised and – Doc cringes as this realization-covered in blood what may or may not be his own, generally appears as if someone threw him down a flight of stairs. Which, he realizes, might be exactly what happened. Something else occurs to him, and the resignation appears to increase, if that's even possible.

"You finally did it, didn't you?" Doc sighs. The other man looks confused. "You finally went and killed one of the loudmouth idiots in this place." He's not exactly surprised. "Wait here. I'll go get my medical kit. And I think I have a shovel around here somewhere. Babs likely won't mind us burying-"

"Doc!" Joel interrupts. Doc pauses. "I didn't kill nobody. Jesus, old man. I got into a bit of a fight, is all." He looks at Doc strangely. "You'd help me bury a body if I did?" Doc snorts, shaking his head as he goes to retrieve his kit.

"Of course." He answers when he gets back. "What is family for, if not for burying bodies covertly in the night?" Joel gives him a look like he's not entirely sure if the old man is joking or not. "Sit." He orders, flapping a hand towards the nearest cot. Joel settles down.

"Family?" He asks amusedly as Doc fusses over his hands.

"Family." Doc affirms. "You and Ellie are family, and family helps family bury bodies. Family also picks dubious debris out of family's knuckles at godforsaken hours of the night." Joel winces as Doc's tweezers come into contact with the damaged skin.

"Sorry 'bout that. I saw the light on and I figured I'd give it a shot. Ellie'd give me hell in the mornin' if she saw my hands like this." Doc shrugs.

"Not an issue, Trigger. Not an issue at all. Dare I ask what happened?" Joel cringes at that.

"Tommy needed my help with plannin' some huntin' expeditions for next week. The meetin' ran a little late, and by the time I got out it was already dark. Some morons were piss drunk and one of 'em saw me and- Fuck." He hisses in pain. Doc swats his arm.

"That's what you get for clenching your hand when it has all sorts of crap in it, idiot." Joel grumbles incoherently, but relaxes his hands. "Now, what did he say about Ellie?" Doc asks. Joel looks at him strangely.

"I didn't say he said anythin' 'bout Ellie." He says. Doc shrugs.

"You became quite angry as soon as you started to mention what was said. Contrary to popular belief, very few things make you genuinely angry. Borrowing data from previous experiences, one can therefore extrapolate the source of your anger being what is usually is." He explains.

"In plain English?" Joel asks with a long-suffering sigh.

"When someone sullies Ellie's good name, you take it upon yourself to 'kick some ass', as it were." He pokes at a cut on Joel's face, earning him a very creative curse. "I can see that some ass was thoroughly kicked on this night." Doc muses. "I'm surprised the other participant isn't visiting me as well." Joel snorts.

"Would you have treated him if he did?" He asks. Doc gives him a look.

"Don't be stupid. If I knew the cause, he would have been booted out promptly. Possibly through the use of scientifically creative means." He assures. Joel laughs at that.

"Possibly?" He teases.

"Most definitely." Doc corrects. Comfortable silence reigns for a few moments as Doc deals with the worst of the damage. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks after a while.

"You a shrink now, too?" Joel asks, and Doc doesn't take offense at the sudden edge in his voice.

"I'm asking as a friend, Trigger. Yours and Ellie's. You know that." He chides gently. Joel exhales, shutting his eyes for a moment.

"Wasn't even something that shoulda bothered me." He mutters. "Just a drunk runnin' his mouth. Nothin' new. But…" He trails off, palms pressed flat on either side of him with such pressure Doc's afraid the cot might give out.

"He called her names, I'm assuming? Very unflattering names? Perhaps implied some unsavoury things?" Doc guesses. Joel grinds his teeth so hard Doc's own jaw aches in sympathy.

"Yeah." He says, voice low. "Yeah, he did. So I jumped him. Fucker was sober enough to get a few good swings in," he gestures to his face, "but I think I got him good."

"I would say so." Doc agrees, dabbing antiseptic on a long, shallow cut on Joel's jaw. "While I applaud your restraint, Trigger, I am curious how you managed to not kill the man?"

"Some of the guys from the meetin' had been goin' the same way, and they managed to break it up. I'll admit, I was pretty damn sure I was gonna get my ass kicked into next week, but they seemed more pissed off at the other guy." Doc's eyebrows arch in surprise. "Yeah. Can ya believe it? Told him he shouldn't be sayin' shit like that, especially when it didn't have a lick of truth to it." Joel pauses and chuckles. "One of 'em even said they should let me go, since he'd want the opportunity to beat the bastard's ass if he was in my shoes."

"Making friends, are we?" Doc teases. Joel snorts.

"Hardly. But… They're not all complete jackasses. Which is good to know, I guess. Maybe someday. If we don't quit this place before then." Doc frowns.

"Surely you're not considering leaving, Trigger?" He asks with concern. Joel shrugs.

"It ain't been easy, that's for sure. If it was just me, it'd be fine. But Ellie doesn't deserve this bullshit. She came home the other night with her right hand all wrapped, and don't think you're gettin' out of explainin' that one." He looks at the older man pointedly. Doc fidgets with the bandaging in his hands. "She deserves a good life. I swore I'd give it to her or die tryin'. So, unless things start clearin' up a bit, we might have to." The silence that follows is anything but comfortable.

"I'm going to talk to Tommy first thing in the morning. We'll call a bloody town meeting if we must." Doc says quietly. Joel opens his mouth to protest. "No, Trigger. This is beyond ridiculous. If things need to get better, we'll make them better. But you will not leave without consulting us first." He shoves his supplies back into the kit with a bit more force than is completely necessary. "I know it's always been Ellie and you against the world, but you're not alone anymore. You have people who can help. Who want to help, might I add. You owe it to yourself and to that girl of yours to at least let us try. Please, Trigger. At the very least, give us time." He smiles wryly. "If need be, we'll sic Babs on them." He says, only half-joking. Joel shakes his head.

"There's no changin' your mind, is there?" He asks, a smile almost tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"You'd have a better chance of inebriating Babs." Doc agrees. Joel sighs.

"Fine. Stubborn old man. We'll stick around for a while longer." He relents. Doc grins, though the relief nearly makes his knees give out.

"There you are. Asshole." Grumps a voice from the front, startling them both. Ellie stumbles in, yawning. "It's nearly daylight out, Joel. What the fuck? Come home. I need to sleep and I can't do that unless I know you're OK." Doc's heartstrings tug a bit at her words. He's more resolute than ever in making this town a place they can really call home. Joel smiles softly and makes a beckoning motion with his hands, wincing slightly as he flexes them. Ellie half-walks, half-stumbles over to him, fairly collapsing into his arms. He pulls her up onto the cot.

"Now, where'd you come from?" He murmurs into her hair. She mumbles unintelligibly, face mashed against his shoulder. Joel chuckles. "Didn't quite catch that."

"You were taking way too fucking long so I went looking. I would've gone to find Tommy first but the lights were on here, so I figured I'd ask Doc if he had any idea where your stupid ass had gotten to." She mutters more coherently. While he's loathe to interrupt, Doc is still concerned about her hand. He taps her arm, and she curses, flinging it out towards him. He observes her hand, nodding to himself when he sees it's healing well. He lets it drop, laughing softly to himself when it immediately goes back to what appears to be its default position; curled around Joel's neck.

"Ellie, you know you're not supposed to go out alone. Especially at night. What if some-"

"I can take care of myself." She mutters. She grabs his hand and puts it on her hip, and he snorts. Doc notices the metallic sheen underneath her shirt, and immediately understands the action.

"Just because you've got a gun on you doesn't mean you're safe." Joel mutters.

"Like you wouldn't do the same thing if I wasn't back by this hour. You'd be fucking mental. So shut up." She pulls away from his shoulder, and when she looks at his face, Doc and Joel cringe in unison. "What. The. Fuck." She growls.

"Listen, it's not as bad as it-Fuck. Stop that!" He grits out as she grabs his face, turning it left and right.

"Explain. Now." She orders. He grabs her hand, the injured one, and pries it away from him. Infinitely gentle, Doc notes, despite Joel's obvious irritation.

"If you explain this." Joel counters, running his thumb over the scabbed-over knuckles. She deflates slightly. She looks at Doc, who shrugs helplessly. She sighs.

"Fine." She mutters. "You first, though."

"I'll just…" Doc retreats backwards a few steps. They appear to not even hear him. He hurries out of the room before anything gets thrown anywhere.

He returns some time later, not even remotely surprised that they're both dead to the world. He chuckles softly to himself, quickly retrieving some spare blankets from a nearby cupboard. He pauses momentarily, observing them. They look ridiculously adorable, all curled up together, for people who've committed homicide more times than anyone can count. Doc shakes his head fondly, placing the blanket over them. Ellie stirs slightly, muttering incoherently before falling back asleep. Joel's eyes open by a small sliver.

"Remind me to kick your ass for not telling me anything." He mumbles sleepily. Doc rolls his eyes.

"I did promise, Trigger." He reminds the younger man. Joel huffs, but apparently can't find a good argument for that.

"Kick ass later. Sleep now." Ellie grumbles. Joel yawns in what appears to be agreement.

"Good night." Doc says, turning to go to his own room.

"Thanks, Doc." Joel says quietly, with surprising coherence. "For everythin'." Doc pauses.

"As I said, Trigger."

He smiles softly to himself.

"Family."

* * *

"You wanted to speak to me, Doc?" Tommy asks, shaking the old man out of his thoughts. Doc clears his throat, slightly surprised by his son-in-law's entrance.

"Yes, quite." He reaches to a nearby shelf, retrieving a stack of notes he'd written the night previously. Tommy's eyebrows meet his hairline.

"You wrote notes?" He asks, sitting down in the adjacent chair. "This must be serious."

"Indeed." Doc mutters, rifling through the papers. It occurs to him that he may be making a grave mistake. The townspeople could riot. Or abandon the area completely. Any number of horrible, terrible things could most definitely occur in the ensuing aftermath of his conversation with Tommy. And yet… And yet.

For a long time, Doc had a large family. His wife, his daughter, cousins and nieces and nephews galore. Then, he had his little trio. His wife, his daughter, and himself. Then he and Maria became a grieving duo. Tommy arrived, and made a joyous trio once more, though never the same as before. Babs became a plus one, to make things interesting. And they'd happily gone on like that for a good span of time. And then…

Then EllieandJoel happened. A most unorthodox pair that really shouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of working. And yet it does. They do. They do more than work. They thrive, despite the universe's incredible attempts to the contrary. There's a devotion deeper than the Marianas Trench between them, and it makes them stupid and illogical and dangerously codependent. On a professional, logical level, it's troubling. On a human, emotional level, it's fucking beautiful.

Doc's an old man. He won't live forever. He knows this well. If the apocalypse gives you anything, it's a reality check on the subject of your mortality. When he eventually kicks the proverbial bucket, he wants to do so knowing he's left something behind. Something great. More than the town, more than anything material. He wants to know he's left behind a family. A happy one, if at all possible. And some way, somehow, those two codependent idiots managed to wedge themselves into Doc's definition of 'family'. The trio plus one became a trio plus three, and eventually a quintet plus one. And he'll be damned if it doesn't stay that way, he decides as he settles in for what will surely be a long conversation.

Doc really does consider himself a family man. Because, in the end, that's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what keeps humanity human, through plagues and wars and yes, even the fucking apocalypse.

Family.

**AN: Well. That got really deep. Um. So… Yeah. Here's a massive 7k oneshot for you guys. 16 FUCKING PAGES THAT IS A RECORD. I'm exhausted. Be entertained by this for a bit while I sleep, yeah? Some of this stuff was pretty heavy, especially that bit with Ellie confiding in Doc. Hopefully I did it justice. There is a related chapter to that one in another fic I will be writing. So. That's a thing that will happen. Basically, a lot was covered here, and I wasn't able to delve into everything, either because of length or plot, or, most often, because of the natural restrictions that come with any POV that is not omnipresent, especially with a neurotic little headcase like Doc. I have loads and loads of extras and headcanons for this one, so if anyone needs/wants/is curious about clarification, my inbox is open. I guess that's it. Not entirely sure if I'm happy with it, but 7 thousand words later, well, I give up. HERE TAKE IT I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE! I own nothing except for what I own. See y'all next time. P.S: IDK if another chapter will be up by then or not, but I'm totally unavailable on the 22****nd**** of July, as it is in fact my birthday, and since I was planning on posting something that day, it'll have to be on hold. So. Just wanted to let you guys know. I except to be sung to, BTW. Also presents. I kid, I kid. Anyways. Bye!**


	8. viii

**AN: For fuck's sakes. THIS IS ALMOST 4K WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT I AM SICK I SHOULD BE NAPPING BUT NOOOO INSTEAD I'M WRITING ABOUT THESE IDIOTS. Warnings for copious use of lyrics not my own and TEETH ROTTING FLUFF I AM WARNING YOU RIGHT NOW!**

"This is your brilliant solution?" Ellie mutters in disbelief. She learned a long time ago to not hold expectations from one day to the next, but even so, she definitely had not seen this coming. "Half the town has it out for us and you decide to take me camping?" She can practically hear Joel rolling his eyes. He has a very audible eye roll. She's been on the receiving end of it enough times to know.

"You got a better idea?" He asks, voice more amused than irritated.

"Not really." She admits.

"Then shut up and walk, girl." There's barely contained laughter in his voice, but he manages to keep a straight face. Ellie grumbles, more out of habit than anything else. They passed the first line of trees a few minutes ago, she notes, and the path is entirely unfamiliar.

"Are you sure you know where we're going?" She asks suspiciously. "Should we go find Babs and ask her for directions?" Joel snorts.

"Knowin' that old witch, she'd send us into the middle of nowhere just to prove a point." He says.

"No, she wouldn't. She likes me. She'd invite me to stay for some tea and then send you out to the middle of nowhere just to prove a point." Ellie corrects. Joel chuckles and shoves at her playfully, barely moving her. He's always incredibly gentle with things like that, like he's afraid he's going to hurt her. She'd take offense, but the thing is, she knows it's not because he's afraid she's not strong enough to take it. He's afraid of himself. So she rolls her eyes and shoves him back, hard. He's got nothing to be afraid of. Even if he's uncertain about himself, she isn't.

"'Sides, I know exactly where we're goin'." He informs her. She fixes him with a look of disbelief. "What? I do." He says defensively.

"And where, exactly, is this place?" She asks.

"It's a surprise." He says smugly. She's pretty sure that's all she's gonna get out of him, so she lets it go and changes to another topic.

"So… Why the sudden urge to return to the great outdoors?" She asks. "Missing all of those nights out under the stars?" Her tone is humorous, because that's really the only way to deal with the memories of the absolute hell they'd been through.

"Hardly." Joel turns unexpectedly, and she skids to a halt, her face nearly meeting with a tree.

"Hey! Watch it!" She grumbles. He makes an amused noise and keeps moving, though he spares a glance to make sure she's alright.

"There's a real big difference between sleepin' outside 'cause you have to and sleepin' outside 'cause you wanna. You'll like it, I promise." He assures. Ellie rolls her eyes, jogging slightly to catch up.

"Hey, if it gets me away from the crazies for a while, I don't care if we're hiking to a pile of dirt. I'm just glad to be out." She tells him. His silence worries her, and his face has traces of guilt on it when she looks at him. "Oh, come on. I didn't mean it like that. It's really not that bad, Joel. We're OK, aren't we?" Her voice is a little smaller, and little more uncertain. He shakes himself and offers her a small smile.

"Yeah. We're OK." He reaches for her hand, the scabbed-over one, and she grabs on immediately. It's a reflex, at this point. "I just… I wish things were better, Ellie. Easier. After everythin' that's happened, you deserve better."

"We." She corrects immediately. "We deserve better." She leans against him slightly. He doesn't reply to that, but he doesn't correct her, either.

"Better than skinned knuckles and bullets to the leg." He mutters, thumb going over her injured hand as he speaks. He's been doing that a lot, lately. She doesn't think he's entirely conscious of it, either. It reminds her of how he plays with her hair when he's nervous. It's nice, she thinks. A solid sort of comfort in an unfamiliar situation.

"The bullet was an accident." She reminds him. He snorts. She knows he still believes that particular injury was on purpose. They walk in silence for a few moments. Ellie weighs her next words carefully. "You deserve better, too." She says quietly as they're crossing a small stream. He heaves a sigh.

"Ellie…" He begins, slowing to a stop.

"Shut up for a second and let me talk." She orders. He does. "You do, OK? And I know you hate talking about… pretty much everything, but this self-loathing bullshit's gotta stop. For fuck's sake, Joel, the only time you've actually busted someone's ass in town was because they said stuff about me." She charges ahead of him in a huff, only to change her mind and turn back around. "Which was pretty fucking stupid, by the way. They say way worse things about you and if you were gonna kick some ass it should at least be for something important."

"You are important." He says quietly, and… She can't find a good comeback for that. She's not entirely sure one actually exists. Joel clears his throat and starts moving again. "'Sides, the shit they say 'bout me is mostly true. I've… I've done terrible things." He mutters. Ellie snorts. He gives her a shocked look.

"Don't even try that shit with me." She tells him, following after. "The whole 'oh I'm such a terrible person let me carry the weight of the world on my shoulders while I angst' thing is getting really fucking old, OK? So just… Stop it. I know what you've done. Have you conveniently forgotten who talks you down after your nightmares? I know. I've seen most of it and what I haven't seen, I can imagine. And I'm still here, Joel. I'm always gonna be here." She says the last part almost desperately. She thinks the chaos of the last few days has gotten to her. She just wants to make him understand. She's not gonna leave him and he sure as hell deserves to be happy. A strange look crosses his face, almost like he's let his guard down for a minute before closing up again. Her heart tugs a bit –OK, more than a bit- at the brief show of emotion.

"It shouldn't be like that." He mutters, but she's not entirely sure if he's talking to her. "You shouldn't- It just ain't healthy." She bumps him gently with her shoulder.

"Deal with it. That's just the way it is. We stick together, remember? That means forever. Or until we die. Whichever comes first." Despite her words, she sounds awfully cheerful. He looks at her for a long moment, like he can't believe she's real. There's a sort of wonder there that she can't really explain, but makes her heart feel warm.

"How's your leg holdin' up?" He asks, changing the subject in a way she knows means she's won this round. She shrugs.

"Fine. Just like it has been for the past thousand times you've asked me that question." She says, voice teasing. He grumbles unintelligibly. She laughs. "It's OK. I know you worry." She pauses. "I worry about you too, so I guess we're even." That earns her a smile. "Are we there yet?" She asks, not because she really cares but to lighter the atmosphere. They both seem to be in agreement to keep the heavy stuff for later, because Joel shoots her a look of mock annoyance.

"Does it look like we're there yet?" He counters, amused.

"How would I know? It's not like you're telling me where we're going." She grumbles.

"We're almost there... I think." He laughs at her expression, and she's relieved t see some of the tension in his face drain. "I'm kiddin', Ellie. Just relax and… I dunno. Enjoy the scenery. Or somethin'." There's not really any options for 'or somethin'' so she concentrates on the scenery. Summer's really giving it all it's got, she thinks. Everything is ridiculously green, clearly visible despite the only small amounts of light filtering through the treetops. Even if the people can be kinda shitty, there's no arguing that they couldn't have chosen a prettier place to call home.

She's never hiked this far into the woods before, and while she knows she should be on the lookout for Infected or bandits or wild animals, she's distracted enough that she doesn't notice when Joel stops, causing her to slam face-first into his back. She yelps, rubbing her nose. Like walking into a fucking brick wall, she thinks to herself.

"Watch yourself." He teases. Ellie grumbles some choice words in his direction, before looking at what caused the sudden stop. A large outcrop of rock juts out right in front of them. It's too high up for her to reach, but Joel manages it easily enough, helping her along once he's up.

"Joel, shouldn't we be hurrying up a little?" She asks, dusting herself off. "I think it's getting…" She looks up, trailing off as her eyes widen. "Dark." They're faced with a wide, open clearing, void of trees or… anything, really. Anything, that is, except for the little setup in the middle of the space. There's already a fire pit ready to be lit and, to Ellie's extreme delight, a guitar. The guitar. Night has already begun it's descent, and stars are blinking into existence everywhere she looks. "Joel?" She asks, not entirely sure what she's trying to ask.

"Why all the surprise?" He teases her, the huge smile on his face blinding in the fading light. "I told you we were goin' campin', didn't I?" She's still speechless. She didn't know what to expect, but this… This is beautiful. "How 'bout that view, huh? Now stop gawkin' and come help me set up." He nudges her shoulder, and for lack of a retort, she obeys. Once the fire is lit –that in itself is something entirely special because Joel never lights fires unnecessarily- and their sleeping bags are out of their packs and onto the ground, Ellie manages to form a question.

"How did you manage to get this all set up?" She asks him, incredulous. He shrugs, smile all smug. "You were with me all day."

"I may have had some help." He tells her with a wink. He reaches for the guitar, pausing when something falls out of it. It's a small pouch, attached to a piece of paper. Joel reads it quickly, shoving it into his pack as soon as he's done.

"What's that?" She asks curiously, reaching toward the pack. Joel moves it out of reach.

"Nothin' important. Just the old woman lettin' me know I owe her." He says dismissively. She arches an eyebrow, sensing a lie but not entirely concerned by it.

"Babs helped you with this?" She asks.

"She agreed that we needed to get away for a little while." He explains. "I left the guitar up at her place early this mornin' and she did the rest." He smiles fondly, and Ellie thinks that she wouldn't be wrong in saying that Babs has wormed her way into Joel's incredibly small –but expanding, Ellie notes happily- circle of friends. "We'll swing by and thank her in the mornin'. Now, where'd I put those damn- Here we go." He mutters to himself, rummaging through his pack and producing a plastic bag filled with-

"No way." Ellie gasps, eyes sparkling. "Marshmallows? Really?" Joel's told her about them before, how people Before used to love them. She'd mentioned, in passing, that she would've liked to try one if the world hadn't gone to shit. "Where the fuck did you find marshmallows? I'm pretty sure you can't grow those." Joel chuckles.

"Tommy's got some interesting things in storage. 'Sides, I'm sure Doc woulda found a way to make some from scratch if I told him they were for you." He shakes his head in amusement.

"What can I say, I'm lovable." She says smugly, grabbing a marshmallow from the bag. Joel opens his mouth to say something, but then stops himself.

"Here, lemme teach you." He says, grabbing a couple of sticks. After a few burned attempts, which Joel insisted were still delicious, actually eating the blackened marshmallows to Ellie's amazement and slight disgust, she gets the hang of it.

"Ah, shit." She laughs, getting some in her hair. OK, maybe she hasn't entirely gotten the hang of it just yet. Joel laughs and helps her pick it out. "Why're you doing this?" She asks him after a few beats of comfortable silence. "Not that I'm not completely thrilled you did, because it's amazing, but it's not my birthday or anything." He stares into the fire for a moment before looking at her.

"We're celebratin'" He says simply.

"Celebrating what?" She asks, laughing slightly. He shrugs.

"Life, I guess. The good stuff in it, at least." He smiles slightly at her, and she returns it. "I reckon that's as good a reason as any."

"I reckon so." She says, in what she thinks is a pretty good impression of his voice. He rolls his eyes, grinning, and turns around. Ellie makes a happy noise –not a squeal, she is a compete badass and badasses do not squeal fuck you very much- and claps her hands as he reaches for the guitar. "Have you thought of a new one?" She asks excitedly.

"Yep. Figured I'd save it for a day like today." He strums out a few random –probably not at all random but she hasn't exactly caught on to the whole guitar thing yet so she wouldn't know- chords, smiling in that special way he always does when he has the guitar in his hands. Like she said that first night, the instrument is definitely magic.

She goes completely silent, hardly even daring to breathe. She doesn't want to interfere with the beauty of the sound. His hands and breathing are a little shaky, like they always are right before he starts playing. One day she'll ask him why he gets so nervous, but not right now. He begins to strum in earnest now, and her breath catches in her throat.

"I wish I was a slave to an age old trade…" He begins, the sound curling in the night air with the fire smoke. "Like ridin' around on railcars and workin' long days. Lord have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways…"

No matter how many times he sings for her, no matter how many times she hears the guitar, hears his voice, it always hits her like the first time. Her heart still clenches like it's going to explode and she still feels that all-encompassing, almost painful happiness that makes everything she's ever been through worthwhile.

"Call it one drink too many, call it pride of a man…" He drawls out. She closes her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't make no difference, if you sit, or you stand..." A bright flash makes her eyes open wide, just in time to catch a white streak soaring across the night sky. She's never seen one, but they appear often enough in Savage Starlight for her to recognize a meteor.

"Joel." She whispers, clutching his arm. Her chuckles deep in his throat, a low sound that honestly sounds like part of the song.

"I see it, I see it." He tells her, not sounding at all surprised. "Want me to stop so you can watch?" He offers.

"No!" She whispers as loud as she can, not wanting to interrupt the moment by speaking any louder. "Please keep going." He keeps on without missing a beat, and she presses herself closer. As if a switch has been flipped, more streaks flash into sight, and if she could find her voice, Ellie would probably be laughing. Joel croons the bridge of the song, and Ellie finds herself joining in. She's not all that good, but it makes Joel real happy whenever she does. True to form, a huge smile flashes over his face as soon as she opens her mouth.

"I know there's California, Oklahoma, and all the places I ain't ever been to, but down in the valley, with whiskey rivers, these are the places you will find me hidin'… These are the places I will always go…"

On a logical level, she knows she's imagining things, but if you asked her now she'd swear the meteors and the music were perfectly synced. She's never seen so many shooting stars, not even in the comics. She wonders, for all of a second, if Joel planned this tonight specifically before she realizes, of course he did.

"I am on my way back to where I started…" The bridge comes again, and she sings along again, because why the fuck not. Joel laughs out loud this time, not because he thinks it's funny, she knows, but because he's thrilled. "I am on my way…" He begins again, nudging her slightly. She shakes her head, face heating, but she's laughing too because for fuck's sakes she should never have even lived this long, she's cheated death a thousand times, so she's gonna fucking sing.

"I am on my way back to where I started…" She sings.

"California, Oklahoma…"

"All of the places I ain't ever been too…"

"Down in the valley, with whiskey rivers, these are the places you will find me hidin', these are the places I will always go…" They sing together. If she's learned one thing from all these nights, it's been to pick up fast on lyrics. She likes to think she's kinda a pro at it.

"I wish I was a slave to an age old trade…" Joel murmurs, the strumming slowing down. "Lord have mercy…"

"On my rough and rowdy ways." Ellie joins in for the last part. The strumming continues for a while, finally fading out into the night. She groans quietly.

"I sounded terrible. Why do you let me embarrass myself like that?" She asks. He laughs out loud, shaking his head. He lays down the guitar and stands, holding out his hand. "What are you doing?" She asks, laughter in her voice.

"Just stand up." He tells her, and he's grinning in a way that makes her certain she's going to embarrass herself even more. She lets out a long-suffering sigh and takes his hand. Like she said before; it's a reflex. The meteors are still going, and she's dazzled by them for a moment before Joel pulls her up. "Damn, it's been a while. Lemme see if I can remember… OK. Put your hand on my shoulder…Yeah, OK. Good." He pulls a thoughtful face, and it occurs to her what he's attempting to accomplish here. Ellie bursts out laughing.

"Seriously? Are you actually trying to teach my how to dance? Why the hell?" She manages to get out.

"The way I see it, you'll either think you're better at it than singing' or you'll think you're worse. Either way, you'll learn somethin' and we won't have to go through this every time I break out the guitar. Stop insultin' my teachin' skills and work with me here, OK?"

"That is such bullshit." She snorts. He gives her a Look. "OK, OK. But don't we need music? You can't exactly dance with the guitar." She informs him. Right on cue, he begins to hum the same song from earlier. "Oh, god." She mutters. "I apologize in advance for the damage to your feet." Unsurprisingly enough, when they start to move she almost immediately trips over his foot. Or hers. She's not exactly sure which. Joel doesn't laugh like she expects him to. He helps her right herself before talking.

"Just relax. Don't think about it or you'll mess up." He says soothingly. The humming resumes, and she tries his advice. She's still a bit shaky, but it's better. She looks down, and he squeezes her hand. "Don't look down. Just… Look at the sky." She does. She finds herself humming along with Joel, letting him move them around the clearing.

"California, Oklahoma…" She sings under her breath. If he hears her, she'll never hear the end of it. It's not like she can help it. The stupid song's stuck in her head. She feels his grip tighten for a fraction of a second and she's pretty sure he heard. Ah, fuck it. She's having fun. They continue like that for what feels like a long time and no time at all. She's not sure how many times Joel hums the song. She's not sure she cares. "Lord have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways…" She murmurs as they come to a stop. She hazards a look at Joel's face to see if she did OK. He's grinning like an idiot and the light from the shower gives her just enough to see his eyes. She finds herself smiling despite herself.

"That was… Not terrible." She admits, letting herself fall back down to the ground. Joel lets her pull him down with her, and she fits back into her usual spot against his chest.

"See? Told ya." He says. Again with the smugness. She rolls her eyes internally. "And for the record-"

"Oh, wow…" She cuts him off, as a particularly brilliant beam flashes across the sky. He chuckles, shifting to get comfortable. "Wait, what did you say?" She asks distractedly. She feels him smile into her hair.

"You sounded beautiful."

**AN: I did it! I FUCKING WROTE THE FLUFFY CAMPING FIC I DID IT! Also someone asked for Ellie singing. So. There you go. Let it not be said I don't give you guys things. As per usual, any questions about headcanons or extra tidbits for this oneshot, feel free to ask. The song, which I'm sure you all want to know, is 'Down By the River' by 'The Head and the Heart'. And here, my friends, I draw Counting Stars to a close. Well, for now, at least. I'll probably get stuck and need to write another oneshot, but from now on the story will appear on the sites as complete, so keep following just in case. The first Oneshot of Doom (which is becoming chaptered, actually) is up next, but let's be honest with this series we can never know. I won't be writing for a while because, as I mentioned, my birthday is in fact tomorrow and I'll also be away on the following day, the 23****rd****, as I'm going on a slightly belated birthday trip. Also I'm fucking sick so I need to rest and not have feels over fictional characters. So. Thank you so everyone who's already offered me well wishes and even written me things and offered other presents, and thank you to everyone who may do that tomorrow when I'm not on. I love you all, thank you so much, here's to another amazing year and hopefully we'll still be here together this time next year! I own nothing except for what I do. Bye guys!**


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